


Lover

by PoeticPanda11



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Album: Lover (Taylor Swift), Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Developing Relationship, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Inspired by Taylor Swift, M/M, Memories, Mentions of Taylor Swift, Past Relationship(s), Romantic Friendship, Song Lyrics, Song: Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift), Song: It's Nice to Have a Friend (Taylor Swift), Song: Lover (Taylor Swift), Song: ME! (Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie), Songfic, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21109265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticPanda11/pseuds/PoeticPanda11
Summary: "I like making new memories with you."From their college days to after the events of that fateful camp night, come see the moments they've shared together from each track name.Based on Taylor Swift's newest album called Lover. Lyrics and track names adjusted to fit the story.Sean(Dadsona)XCraig Cahn





	1. Sir Americana & The Heartbreak Prince/You Need To Calm Down

**Author's Note:**

> Strong language used on this chapter. Please be careful.

**Chapter 1**

Evening classes were not my favourite. As much as I am a night owl, I’d rather be spending my evening hours playing video games. I was half listening to the video our instructor had us watch about how to fix a computer hard drive, while I had my other half of my attention at the clock above the projector screen. Two minutes before I’m free and I get to see “him”. Before I knew it, the video was finished and the instructor decided to let us off early. “We’ll pick this up tomorrow. Don’t worry if you didn’t get some of the details, I’ll be bringing in some hard drives for us to do some hands-on practice. Have a good rest of your evening class!”

I eagerly closed my notebook and placed it away in my bag. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I know exactly what that means. I look to see who messaged me and it was Alex, my boyfriend, saying he’s outside waiting for me. This put a small smile on my face so I replied back immediately letting him know I’m on the way. I like to take a bit of my time to pack my stuff as most of my classmates immediately rush out to head back to their dorms and they will shove anyone out of their way. I, unfortunately, had to be on the receiving end of that situation one time and no one even bothered to apologize or say “excuse me”. As some stayed behind to compare notes and ask questions to the instructor, I stood up with my bag and made my way to the door.

Immediately, I noticed Alex standing just a little to the left and made a bee line for him. He smiled at me and as I did back to him. I met Alex in the first half of the year as we had some similar classes. We bonded and it just transformed into something more beautiful for both of us. To our dismay though, we had no classes together for the second half of the year and for the rest of our college days, as a matter of fact. However, he decided to pick me up after my last class just so he can see me and it always makes my heart flutter with joy. If there is a higher power watching down below, I thank them for having our paths cross one another.

_[You know I adore you, I’m crazier for you]_

He extends his arms out for an embrace and I reciprocate by doing the same. As we hug each other, I just barely caught out of the corner of my eye two guys walk past us and eyeing us before they turned their heads back to talk to each other. This irked me a bit but it quickly dissipated as Alex moved from the hug and kissed me. I blushed and kissed him back. Ever since we became a couple, our relationship started out discreet until some of his friends caught on to our longing gazes to each other. At that point, a lot of people could tell we were a couple as we weren’t the best at hiding it. We tried though.

I still had a small fear deep down in me that people would make fun of us for being gay, even if the college had strict bullying rules. At most, all we’ve gotten were stares from other students and that’s about it. We linked our hands and walked back to the dormitory while we talked about each other’s day.

As we kissed each other goodbye and went our separate ways, I started my trek down the hall to my respective dorm. I was coming up to the boy’s bathroom and immediately, I felt my insides twist and turn unpleasantly. “Oh dear…” I clutched my stomach and walked faster to the bathroom. Must have been something in the lunch I had today.

I safely made it to the washroom stall without incident and “waited for the storm to subside”. While waiting, I checked my phone and flipped through the photos I had taken of Alex and myself. I sighed like a high schooler admiring their crush. Seeing his handsome face always heats up my face. I never would have thought I would ever get a boyfriend as good as he is, let alone be in a relationship at all.

_[No cameras catch my crooked smile_

_I counted days, I counted miles_

_To see you there_

_To see you there]_

After a few minutes of reminiscing on past pictures, I felt better and needed to clean up. Once I’ve flushed and cleaned my hands, I heard voices coming from the hall.

“So…..stupi…”

“Dude….calculus….my dic…”

I knew exactly who those voices belong to. Two of the known party drunkards of the college, Dylan and Jason. Coincidentally, they’re roommates and live in the same hallway as I do. Their voices were getting closer so I instinctively hid back in the one of the stalls and locked it. Luckily, the stalls reach the floor so no one will see my feet. As I suspected, the two of them entered the bathroom.

“Like, who the fuck is gonna need this shit in the workplace?” Dylan said.

“Speaking of shit, it smells like it in here.” Jason said.

_Crap_. I cursed myself in my mind. I immediately covered my mouth so that I wouldn’t laugh at the pun I made in my head. By the sounds of their stumbling footsteps and the way they talked, they probably skipped classes to drink again. I sat there in the stall looking at my pictures with Alex again, waiting for them to finish using the urinals and leave. Though a topic caught my ear:

“Yo…. have you seen the.…uh…. gay ass couple walking around lately?” Jason asked.

“The Asian dude and black dude? …What about it?” Dylan said. They were referring to Alex and myself.

“They can… fuck right off the college dude. I don’t need to see that mental illness shit.”

“I hear ya, man. America is fuckin’ losin’ it’s shit. Just gotta…exile all them fuckwads to another…. planet.”

_I’m surprised you even know what ‘exile’ means._

_[I see the high fives_

_Between the bad guys_

_Leave with my head hung_

_You are the only one_

_Who seems to care]_

After a few minutes of rambling from them, they leave the bathroom. I heard their door slam shut once they entered in. That was my cue to leave now. I washed my hands again and left the bathroom, annoyed from their conversation. I dug out my dorm key and entered my own abode.

“Sean, bro. Wassup?” I was greeted by Craig, my roommate, who was playing a game on the couch. I glanced over to him and he was focused on his game, thankful he didn’t see my annoyed expression.

“I’m… ok, I guess.” I said plainly. I tried to not sound like I was annoyed at him, which I wasn’t.

“Mm, you sure?” He said while still focused on his game. We had no hand in picking our roommates; the college randomly placed us with one another. It makes me wonder if the admin is secretly racist for putting two Asian men together as roommates. Craig’s a good guy, even if he sometimes leaves some of his stuff lying around. He forcefully took me to parties that I didn’t want to go to because he thinks I should “live a little” and “experience new things”. I don’t drink much but I did experience the tastiness of mojitos, “shots”, and mudslide cocktails. I also witnessed Craig pull off keg stands in different parties he’s taken me to.

“Maybe just a bit hungry.”

“Lucky for you, I prepared some cup noodles for you. Just in the kitchen.”

This brightened my mood a bit. You can never go wrong with cup noodles. I placed my bag in my room and headed for the kitchen. I spotted the cup and it was still hot, but not hot that I can’t eat it. Craig even left a fork for me. I grabbed it and the cup and made my way to sit next to Craig.

“Thanks for this, you didn’t have to.”

“I figured I should do a small act of kindness for you since you’re always kind enough to pick up my stuff lying around.” Craig chuckles.

“You’re not purposefully leaving your stuff around just to test my patience are you?”

“I mean, I’ve never actually seen you mad before. But no, I’m just lazy.”

I started eating while watching him play the newest installment of Road Brawler. He’s pulling off some interesting combos.

“I’m guessing you’ve already finished your assignments?” I asked.

“Ha! You could put it that way.”

“I’m just asking is all. It would suck for you to fail and drop out, leaving me alone here.”

“I promise I got it covered, Mom.”

After a few more slurps of noodles, I drank the soup and got up got up to clean up. After washing the fork, I lingered around the kitchen thinking about what I overheard earlier. _Those two can’t be that hateful, can they?_ Was it the booze talking for them? I look back to my pictures of Alex and I, remembering the fun times we had in each picture.

_[Boys will be boys, then_

_Where are the wise men?_

_Darling, I'm scared]_

“Craig?” I ask meekly as I make my way back to the couch.

“Hmm?” His gaze fixed on the TV.

“How do you feel about me being your roommate, like honestly?”

Craig pauses his game and thinks for a moment. “If you could cook, you’d be the best roommate I ever had.”

He’s obviously making a joke to me, but I was still curious. “Does that include…me being gay?” I fiddle with my shirt a bit. He knows I’m dating Alex and I know he’s dating a girl named Ashley.

“Ohhh is that what this is about?” He sits back on the couch. “Dude, you’re one of my bros. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or anything else. If I consider you a bro, you’re my bro for life.”

I sigh in relief. “Okay, cool.” At least my roommate isn’t ignorant.

“Did something happen that made you ask me this?” I sat down next to him and decided to tell him the stares I get from other students and the conversation I overheard with Dylan and Jason.

“Oh. Damn, sorry you’re going through this dude.”

“Like, I’m happy to be with Alex. It’s just….sometimes I wish I was either born straight or born a female. You know?” I sighed.

“Hey, if you’re happy to be with him, then don’t listen to what the others say, bro.” I felt a hand on my shoulder. I know he’s trying to make me feel better but sometimes it just gets a little frustrating to handle. “How about you and Alex go on a double date with me and Ash sometime?” He said.

I thought about it and that doesn’t seem so bad….I think?

“Just let me know, dude. I don’t like seeing any of my bros feeling down.” He pats my shoulder and lightly punches my arm. He picks up the second controller and hands it to me. “I’m not gonna go easy on you, but maybe you’ll feel better after a few rounds.”

I stare at it for a few seconds. Why not? I can show him some tricks up my sleeve with my mains Cheng-Ling and Yega. After six rounds, it was tied in wins. As much as I would love to win the tiebreaker, I had to call it quits to do some homework before bedtime. Craig cleaned up the console and controllers before he headed off to sleep for his morning classes.

Before heading to bed, I sent Alex a goodnight and I love you message. Alex replies back a few minutes with the same message, filling my heart with ease before drifting to sleep.

_[It’s you and me_

_There's nothing like this_

_Sir Americana and The Heartbreak Prince_

_We're so sad, we paint the town blue_

_Voted most likely to run away_

_With you]_

* * *

I wake up with an unpleasantly full bladder. I didn’t bother checking the time as I groggily got off of bed to take care this. After I was done, I stepped out of the bathroom and smelled that someone was cooking something earlier. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 6:55am. At this time, Craig had already left for his morning classes. I checked the kitchen and saw a plate of…I think those are eggs? I rubbed my eyes to adjust my eyesight. Well, one of them is a sunny side-up egg and the other one looks burnt. I notice a small note next to the plate that says, “Made you breakfast. Enjoy bro!” with an upside down smiley face. I’m guessing he was in a hurry when he did that smiley face.

I’ll eat those later when I wake up for real this time. I stretched and made my way back to my room when I saw something peculiar. I saw a folded piece of paper in front of the door. I went over and picked it up. It’s addressed to me? I opened the folded paper and saw three letters on it:

F A G

I closed my eyes, trying to pretend I didn’t see that_._ I ripped the note in half and put it in the recycling bin. I headed back to my room for more sleep.

_[You are somebody that I don't know_

_But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón_

_And I'm just like, damn, it's 7 AM]_

I woke back up at 9am as I was starting to feel the starvation. I had the breakfast Craig made for me with some toast and coffee. The burnt egg also had a bit too much salt but I hate wasting food, so I toughed it out and washed the lingering taste of salt with some bitter black coffee. I didn’t have class until 2pm, so I decided to do more reading. As I was about to grab my bag from my room, the blue recycling bin in my dorm caught my eye. The three letter word came back to my head as I remembered what transpired about three hours ago. _Was that all a dream?_ I decided to check the bin again to confirm my thoughts. Sure enough, two ripped up halves of a paper were in the bin. I shook my head and decided to study in the library instead.

_[And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression_

_But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' 'bout somebody else is no fun]_

The library was quiet as usual with about more than a handful of students today. Luckily, I spotted a table where I can study by myself. Once I’ve settled, I brought out my textbook and notebook. Aside from the whispering of the other students about their classes, love life, travel plans after college, and something about….someone’s mom receiving surgery for having an eggplant AND a cucumber stuck inside her? (I scrunched my eyebrows to that story, fake or not) Studying was going well for me. In trade for my poor vision, my hearing and smell senses were more prominent. Heh, guess the gods decided that giving me all three would make me too overpowered.

After reading for a good two hours, I decided to finish up the chapter I was reading to get ready for my classes. However, one quiet conversation caught my ear:

“Don’t look now dude, but the gay dude is a table behind us.”

“Which one?”

“The Asian one.”

“You mean….what’s his name? Craig...?”

“No, the other one! Craig’s roommate. I forgot his name though.”

“I can never tell them apart, honestly.”

_[You are somebody that we don't know_

_But you're comin' at my friends like a missile]_

_Wow._ I can’t tell who those voices belong to since they’re whispering. I’m tempted to just look behind me to see who the idiot was that said Craig and I look the same. I may have bad eyesight, but even I can tell Craig looks nothing like me. First of all, height difference. Craig is like 6’0” ft tall while I’m 5’6” ft. My face is more round while Craig has more sculpted features on his face. Our hair is sort of similar as our sides are shaved but I like to keep my side bangs while Craig has a spikier top. Craig is Korean and half white while I’m Filipino and half Chinese. I wear glasses, Craig doesn't. The only thing similar to us is our slim physique, hair color, and ethnicity.

“Do you think he gets it on with Craig?”

“Hell if I know. I just know the dude is dating that Alex guy.”

_[You need to just stop_

_Like can you just not…]_

I immediately shut my book with a semi-loud smack. I can feel a few stares at me but I didn’t care, I’m done hearing this conversation. I packed my stuff quickly and left the library.

_[You need to calm down]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first project back after a long hiatus. I hope you will enjoy this idea that came to my mind. I know I shouldn't write a big project after being away for a few years, but if I don't write this idea now I will regret it and someone will probably beat me to it. Anyways, stream and listen to Lover <3


	2. The Man/It's Nice To Have A Friend

**Chapter 2**

_‘I didn’t raise you to be like this. I wanted a son who will become a strong man, married to a beautiful woman, and to have kids.’ ‘Where did I go wrong in raising you?!’ ‘Until the day I die, I will not stop finding ways to fix you.’ ‘I love you son. Please…. Don’t be like this.’ ‘I’m trying to help you! Why won’t you accept my advice?!’_

I woke up in a jolt, realizing I was having a dream. My dad’s words echoes through my mind to this day, ever since I came out to my parents before heading to college. Sometimes I mentally kick myself for even telling them in the first place, even I knew they weren’t going to take it well. Well, my dad specifically. My mom wasn’t on board at first but she did come around during the first half of my term, which I cried tears of joy over the phone with her.

I take a deep breath, telling myself that it was just a dream. I can feel my eyes were wet. Was I crying while seeing that dream? I rub my eyes and checked my phone. It was Saturday, start of the weekend. The time is now 8:30am. No classes to go to so I can spend some time with Alex and Craig after.

_I’m okay….I’m okay…._ I kept repeating that to myself until I mustered up the courage to leave my room. I wasn’t sure if Craig was still sleeping so I decided to make breakfast for both of us. Well…. try to, without burning down the whole college. I can sort of cook some things but I wasn’t the best. I usually wing it and hope it tastes good. Since Craig made sunny side-up, I can probably make scrambled eggs for both of us. Shouldn’t be too difficult right? I notice we have some more bread, so toast is a must. I check the fridge and see we have orange juice. I looked for the expiration date to see that it’s still ok. _Ok Sean, let’s get crackin’._

_[I would be complex_

_I would be cool_

_They'd say I played the field before_

_I found someone to commit to]_

After a good 30 minutes, Craig steps out of his room and lets out a yawn. He noticed his roommate was cooking something. “Bro! What are you doing?!”

I look back to him, “I’m cooking…. I think.”

“Dude, I’m so proud of you man! Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming. My bro is actually cooking up something. You the man!”

I just smiled at him while flipping the eggs. “I’ll try to not kill us both.” _I’m the man, huh?_

_[I'd be a fearless leader_

_I'd be an alpha type]_

Presentation wise, it looked ok. Taste wise, could have been better. I didn’t add enough salt to my egg and I bit a piece of shell that I somehow missed while cooking. But Craig says I made his perfect, which I’ll take as a win in my book.

_[They'd say I hustled_

_Put in the work_

_They wouldn't shake their heads_

_And question how much of this I deserve]_

“Thanks for the breaky bro.” Craig said as he burped.

“Breaky?” I chuckled at him and his burp. “Any plans today for you?”

“I’m actually heading out with Smashley later. So don’t stay up for me later tonight.”

_Smashley? _I furrowed my brows and tilted my head at him. “Sma-Smashley?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I call her now. Just, you know, a cute little nickname. If you know what I mean…” Craig winks at me, then sends three more consecutive winks with a cheeky smile.

It took me a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. I widen my eyes at him in shock.

“Y-you….actually? You and her…?” I started blushing. Craig still had that cheeky smile on him until he put his pointer finger between his lips, letting me know to keep it a secret.

_[What's it like to brag about raking in dollars_

_And getting bitches and models?_

_And it's all good if you're bad_

_And it's okay if you're mad]_

However, something horrifying immediately crossed my mind. “Wait wait, hold up. You didn’t organize that outing…just to get her drunk and get in her pants did you?”

Craig’s smile immediately dropped and his eyes widening, realizing the validity in my question. “No! No! I wouldn’t do that bro! She wanted to drink and then head back to her dorm for us to…you know… smash!” He leaned forward as he said that in a panic.

I leaned back and gave him a look. The kind of look that means “tell me the truth”. The kind of look a parent would give to child for taking a cookie from the jar. “Craig…”

“Bro I’m serious! I promise I wouldn’t do something like that.” Craig reaches for his phone to search for something. “Here, look at this. Read the conversation.” He passes me his phone.

I took his phone and did as he said. It was a back and forth conversation with him and Ashley. I scrolled through the messages until I saw what I needed to see. Sure enough, Ashley consented to it. I breathed a sigh of relief that my roommate wasn’t a woman manipulator. I passed his phone back to him.

“Just…be careful with what you say dude.”

Craig rubs the back of his head. “Sorry.”

_['Cause if I was a man_

_Then I'd be the man]_

* * *

_[School bell rings, walk me home_

_Sidewalk chalk covered in snow_

_Lost my gloves, you give me one]_

As the days go by, it’s already almost the end of the year. December has started and finals for second term is coming up. Students are studying overtime to make sure they can ace their exams. I would be studying with Alex but we’ve noticed that we don’t exactly get much done when we study together. We would tease and make jokes, anything to enjoy each other’s time. He decided it would be best if we didn’t see, text, or call each other until our exams were done. He really wanted to do well and be accepted in the military, which I really admired him doing. As much it hurt me to not physically see him for a few weeks, I had to agree as I also want to strive for my future. I was going for Computer Technician as I’ve always been fascinated by the internet and other electronic devices. Not exactly as aspiring as being a soldier serving the country, but it’s what my gut is telling me to be and I think I would enjoy it.

_["Wanna hang out?"_

_Yeah, sounds like fun_

_Video games, you pass me a note_

_Sleeping in tents_

_It's nice to have a friend]_

“Bro?”

I didn’t realize I was spaced out until a voice brought me back to reality. Craig sitting in front of me with a slightly worried expression. “You okay, dude? You’ve been staring out the window for a good…seven minutes?”

I straightened my back as I was slouching for those seven minutes. I do not want to have back problems when I’m old. “Yeah sorry about that. I…just miss Alex is all.”

_[Twenty questions, we tell the truth_

_You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too]_

“Mmm.” Craig nodded as he put his earphone back inside his ear to focus on his studies. I can see small dark circles have formed under his eyes. I can’t even imagine how I look like. I’ll avoid mirrors for the time being so that isn’t answered. I look outside the window again and see that it’s snowing. Winter is my favourite season, not just because of the holidays. I just like cold weather in general. Plus watching snow fall is…therapeutic, in a way for me. I could watch it all day.

I turned back at the clock and it’s already 4:30pm. Man, we’ve been here for three hours. The library was packed and if we studied at our dorm, we would be distracted with video games. So Craig and I decided to go to a nearby café to study. It’s working for Craig, but not so much for me. Luckily there’s only a few patrons around and it’s relatively quiet aside from the café music being played.

All of a sudden, I heard my stomach growling at me. _Cool. Can I be anymore distracted?_ I’m starting to feel hungry again and there’s only so much banana bread I can eat until I’ve had enough. I needed savoury hot food to fill me up. Looking at the snow outside, it reminded me of rice on the ground. That would be so good with some curry right now.

I hear Craig sigh in front of me. “I’m starting to get hungry bro.”

“Wanna call it quits with the studying? I’m hungry too.”

“I like the way you think, man. Any idea where you wanna eat?” Craig turns his textbook over as so did I.

Craig and I went to a Japanese restaurant called Ichiban, which wasn’t too far off form the café we were in. I got the chicken katsu curry rice I wanted while Craig got himself a nice bowl of tonkatsu ramen. We even shared some portions to each other to see how good it was. After filling our bellies, we headed back for our dorm.

_[Have my back, yeah, everyday_

_Feels like home, stay in bed_

_The whole weekend_

_It's nice to have a friend]_

We settled back down in our dorm. Craig was playing a different game now. I wasn’t paying attention as I was scrolling through the pictures of Alex and me again. I just wanna give him a hug and small peck on his cheek. I sighed and Craig turned to look at me.

“Bro. Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t think you’ve gotten much studying done.” He pauses his game.

“I’m good, I promise.” I said flatly, still scrolling through my pictures.

Before I knew it, Craig took my phone out of my hand without much resistance as I wasn’t holding on to it tightly.

“Bro, you gotta snap out of it. Alex will still be there for you after the exams. I’m actually a little worried about you, bro. It would suck to see you fail.”

I sighed. He’s right. I can’t sit around moping about not being able to contact Alex. My future is on the line, not that I was failing any courses. I look back at Craig.

“You’re right. I’m gonna read for the rest of the night in my room.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Craig beamed at me.

“Can I have my phone back?” I extended my arm.

“Sorry, bro. This is for your own good. I’m keeping this until exams are over.” He moved his arm away. “Trust me.” He gave me a smile.

It probably is for the best. “Please don’t lose that okay?” I got up and made my way to my room to actually focus this time.

It’s really nice to have a friend like Craig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter today. I had work in the morning so I had to finish up. Next chapter coming soon <3


	3. London Boy/I Forgot That You Existed

**Chapter 3**

The weather is getting warm once again and it is currently Spring Break for us. Alex went to visit his family back in Illinois for the week, leaving me here in my dorm with Craig. His girlfriend Ashley, or Smashley as we call her now (which she doesn’t mind), also left to visit her family back in Nashville. Craig and I didn’t plan ahead on what we were gonna do for Spring break so we’ve just been doing our own thing. I’ve gone out on walks just to take in the scenery around the college, taken some pictures with a digital camera I took with me before leaving for college, and trying different coffee shops to see who has the superior brew. One day, Craig invited me out to watch a movie and go for food afterwards. Who was I to decline a good time with a friend? Plus split pay for food.

The movie we watched was an interesting one. The movie was called Vampire Crusade: Moonlight Awakening. There’s a good amount of people in the theatre today, makes sense considering it’s Spring break. I kind of got lost halfway through the movie and tried my best to understand what was happening. There were some cool angle shots they did that made me take note the next time I decide to take pictures or videos though. The ending scene showed a sinister pentagram lighting up around a gravestone in the night. The screen started to shake, as if an earthquake was occurring and a pale hand erupts from the ground. The screen turns black and ‘The End’ appears. Not until a question mark appears at the end after a few seconds passed. The credits start rolling and people were getting to leave while some stayed to watch the credits. I was always confused why people would stay for the credits, like, the movie’s done so you’re free to go. Craig and I left to go for some burgers and fries at a nearby fast food restaurant.

_[I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal_

_And you know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey]_

“Man, maybe that wasn’t the best movie to watch.” Craig said, scratching his head.

“Why? You didn’t like it?” I said as I took a sip of my soda.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. I kind of lost the plot, like, halfway through.”

I nodded to him vigorously while pointing to me. “Same here. I mean, I did like some moments and there was some really nice wide angle shots. Plus I liked the British sounding vampire.” I take a bite of some fries.

“Yeah, I liked the blonde girl. She was pretty badass.”

A question pops in my mind. This will lead to an interesting conversation. “Quick Craig, celebrity crush?” I take another sip of soda.

“Huh…? Oh…!” Craig caught off guard by the question, thinks for a second. “Avril Lavigne, definitely.”

I gave him a thumbs up for a very nice choice. “If I was straight, I probably would have picked her or Britney Spears.”

“Well alright then, who’s your celebrity crush that isn’t a female?” Craig takes a bite out of his burger.

“Hmm…..”

_[But something happened, I heard him laughing_

_I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent_

_They say home is where the heart is_

_But that's not where mine lives]_

“Oh, duh! Tom Hiddleston. Loki is my favorite. I don’t know why I even had to think about it.” Seeing him in Thor was kind of the tipping point in confirming my sexual preference. “That man is gorgeous, I tell you.”

Craig swallows his food and laughs a bit. “Do you have a thing for, like, British guys?” Craig puts on a fake British accent: “We can go drivin' in, on my scooter. Uh, you know, just riding in London. Have tea and crumpets and all that.”

_[You know I love a London boy_

_Boy, I fancy you (ooh)]_

I cover my mouth with my hand and giggled at his attempt of a British accent. “What was that just now?!”

“How do you like that? I think I nailed it.” Craig beamed at me.

I decided to play along and put on an accent to outdo him. “Well mate, think we can have us some friendly rounds of Road Brawler afterwards?”

“You’re on bro-err…mate!” Craig lost his accent for a second there. “We still gotta decide that tiebreaker from last time. No way you’re getting the upper hand this time by taking the ‘good controller’.”

_[They say home is where the heart is_

_But God, I love the English]_

At this point, we were just being obnoxious and laughing at each other’s attempt to pass off as someone who’s lived in the UK. We haven’t had a good laugh in a while so this was very refreshing. But I thought about Craig’s question earlier.

“You know, you might be right. I think I’m into British guys. Something about the accent and how prim and proper they can be just tugs at my heart strings.”

“If you weren’t in a relationship with Alex, would you date a guy from the UK?” Craig finishes his soda.

_[Stick with me, I'm your queen_

_Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath]_

I thought about it. I love being with Alex and the relationship we’ve made. I’m open to any guy, but I do like British guys the most.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe? I’m not too picky on the ethnicity of a guy. If they look good and is a good person, then I’d say they have a high chance to be a potential love interest for me.”

“That’s good. Keeping your options open.”

“How about you, Craig?” I asked.

“Nah, I’m on the same boat as you. If I wasn’t with Smashley, any girl that’s pretty and got a good heart can be my girlfriend.” Craig smiled.

We spent a few more minutes talking about other subjects until it was time to head back to our dorm and to settle it in Road Brawler.

_[Just wanna be with you (ooh)_

_Wanna be with you_

_I fancy you (yeah), fancy you_

_Ooh, ah]_

* * *

Last day of Spring break is upon us and as much as I wanted to stay in, relax, and wait until Alex gets back later tonight, Craig has forced me onto an “adventure” with him. Craig wanted to go buy the newest pair of shoes from Pi-key, the Light Racer. As we were driving in his car and listening to some of his music, he was telling me the features of this new footwear. Comfy and easy to wear, lightweight, waterproof AND fireproof, sleek multi-chrome coloured design, and can be used as casual or for athletics. He also says that this will be a great opportunity for him to learn about marketing and selling products to consumers.

Once we’ve arrived to the mall, we speed walked our way to the Pi-key store. There was a lot of people in the store, much to Craig’s dismay.

“Well, good luck in there friend.” I patted Craig’s shoulder

“You’re not gonna go in with me bro?” Craig looks back at me.

“Not a fan of crowded places. It’s your solo adventure now; the treasure and knowledge is your goal. I’m gonna be sitting over there.” I pointed to a nearby lounge area.

“You’re not gonna get bored bro? I could be in there for a while considering there’s a lot of people.”

“Bro, I’ll be fine. I came prepared.” I pulled out my Gamegirl Advance from my sweater. “I’ll be sure to get a high score for you.”

“I’ll see you on the flipside, bro.” Craig gives a small salute then jogs in to the Pi-key store.

I make my way to the one of the leather chairs and get comfy because I don’t know how long I’ll be waiting. The game I have chosen is actually a cartridge filled with retro game titles ranging from Hac-man, Petris, Countra, Gubble Gobble, some Darbie horse game, and Freeze Climbers; one of my favourite retro titles. If I get tired of those, I have two extra cartridges in my pocket to switch to. One is an RPG called Golden Moon, the other is a farm simulator called Harvest Sun.

An hour and a half passed and I can barely see Craig through the store window, talking to one of the employees about the shoe. Looks like he’s holding a blue multi-chrome on his left and a purple one on the other hand. I heard the game saying ‘Game Over’ and I look down to see I died. I shook my head at it. That’s what I get for being distracted.

“Hey…umm…”

I looked up to find the source of the voice. Sitting to my right is a blonde guy, probably my age, a bit of facial hair growing around the face, and wearing some baggy clothes.

“Uh, hi…can I help you?” I say cautiously.

“Are you Sean Rosano?” He said in a raspy voice.

“…yes?” I’m kind of weirded out now.

“Oh wow, good to see you. It’s me, Warren. Warren Watts from middle school.”

_[How many days did I spend_

_Thinkin' 'bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong]_

Warren…Warren…the name sounds familiar but the face doesn’t remind me of anyone.

“Do…I know you?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“You should. I made your life hell in middle school.” His laugh sounds like he’s about to hack up something from inside him.

_[Lived in the shade you were throwin'_

_'Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone_

_And I couldn't get away from you_

_In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah]_

Suddenly, memories of the past come rushing back to my mind. Paper airplanes hitting me in the head that contained hurtful words when I opened them, dodgeballs hitting me square in the face, my lunch being stolen when I wasn’t looking, and destroying my science fair project. All done by one person and their name was Warren Watts. I must have pushed those memories so far back because middle school really did suck for me. All because of him.

_[I forgot that you existed_

_And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't_

_And it was so nice_

_So peaceful and quiet]_

What in the world happened to this guy? He was all clean and normal looking back then.

“Oh… ok yeah, I remember now.” I was more shocked at what was in front of me, instead of being mad of the memories that resurfaced.

“Yeah? Crazy how time flies huh?” He relaxes on the chair.

_[I forgot that you existed_

_It isn't love, it isn't hate_

_It's just indifference]_

“I…guess. Sorry, I just…didn’t expect to see you here or… you in general.” I tried to avoid talking about his current look, which might offend him.

“Ha! Thought you saw the last of me.” Warren chuckles. “I’m like a fly on the wall. You can’t get away from me, Rosano.”

“What have you been up to?” I asked, changing the topic.

“Bah! Don’t concern yourself over me.”

_How ironic_.

“Cool, bye.” I stood up and started walking to the Pi-key store to check on Craig. I’ll take that as my cue to get the hell out of there and hopefully never see him again in this lifetime.

_[I forgot that you_

_Sent me a clear message_

_Taught me some hard lessons_

_I just forget what they were_

_It's all just a blur]_

“Wha-hey, I ain’t done talking to you.” He calls out.

“Byyyeeeee.” I turn around and wave goodbye to him then rolled my eyes as I turned back around. I tried to be nice by starting up a conversation, but looks like that’s out the window.

My mom told me to just leave in situations like this. Don’t give the other party the attention they need to feed off of.

_[It isn't love, it isn't hate_

_It's just indifference]_

It’s not as packed anymore in the Pi-key store but there’s still a good amount of testosterone walking around. I spotted Craig paying for his shoes at the counter and waved to him as he turned around.

“Bro! Sorry for making you wait man.” He bounds up to me.

“Oh no worries. Did you achieve what you needed to do here?”

“Hell yes! I’ll show you the shoes when we get back to the dorm.” We exited Pi-key and headed for a quick stop to an ice cream shop. I decided to pay for both of our ice cream, just to help out Craig’s wallet after a big purchase. As we headed back to the mall parking lot, Craig talked about how fascinated he was on how the shoes were advertised when they were announced on TV and just how he’s so interested in marketing and being a business man.

“I think you’d make a great business man. I’ll be your first buyer if whatever you’re selling interests me.” I said, licking my ice cream.

By this time, I’ve already overwritten the cursed memories with ones that are worth remembering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References for days on this one. Chapter 4 will be coming soon y'all. Enjoy!


	4. I Think He Knows/Cruel Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this chapter marks the start of how good the next chapters will be. I hope you enjoy this *fingers crossed*

**Chapter 4**

Looking back at it, I’d say my college days were some of my best and worst times in my life. There were moments where I wish I could take back and redo, not just from my college days. But it’s those moments that are what have shaped me to the person I am today. I lived and learned through those experiences and here I am today, collapsed on the entry way of my daughter Amanda’s room.

My legs gave in after such an intense workout with Craig today. It didn’t help that we were searching around for River’s stuffed capybara but at least we got it back, even if it got slightly dismembered by the creepy twins. I’m sure Craig will figure out how to fix it.

“You still doing ok down there pops?” Amanda asked, still scrolling through her phone in bed.

“Yeah. I’ve just been remembering the good times I had with Craig, back in our college days. It really is a small world, you know. I never thought I’d see him again after college. Hanging out with him really shows how much he’s….grown up.”

“Oooh, are you finally developing a crush on a long time friend?” Amanda teased.

A crush….am I actually falling for Craig? This new and improved version of my college roommate is a potential love interest? Or is it just admiration as a friend? Thoughts started appearing and circling my mind, as I try to comprehend my feelings for my friend. Did I always have a crush on him? Did he drug me with some love potion in one of his protein drinks? Or am I just….lonely?

After college, I moved to Georgia with Alex as he got accepted in the US military and he was to start his training there. For the most part, our lives were great. We lived in an apartment, had a healthy loving relationship, and even got married two years after. He even wanted to have my last name because he likes it better than his own. There were times where I would miss him so much since he had to spend his time at the training site, learning protocol. When he would come back, I would tear up and he would hold me in his arms. Sometimes when we really missed each other, we…tend to take it to the “next level”. All the training really made him so muscular; it really enhanced his already good looks. He really proved his worth in the military that they made him a corporal, which we were both happy about.

One day, Alex wanted to adopt and raise a child with me. I was caught off guard at first because I didn’t think I would be fit to raise a child, even if with a partner. He insisted that he wanted to start a family with me, and it made me happy that he even thought of that. I eventually caved in and we sorted out the papers to adopt our child, Amanda. She was only five months old when we saw her at the orphanage. Her biological mother couldn’t afford to raise her as a single mother and we pitied the poor child. Alex and I saw potential in her and that’s why she is with me today.

_Me…._

_Only me….._

_“Where’s….Alex…?”_

_The…accident…._

_Why…._

_Why….why….why….._

_“Please….don’t….go.”_

“Dad!”

I was shaken forcefully by my daughter and it brought me back to my senses. “H-huh?!”

“Geez, dad. You freaked me out for a second there.” Amanda sighed.

I sat up and leaned against her doorway. “Sorry, Panda. What happened to me?”

“You just went silent when I asked you a question. So I got up from bed and saw you were staring blankly into space. So I shook you to make sure you didn’t die on me.”

“Oh, I…see.” I scratched the back of my head.

“Man, that work out must have really taken a toll on you.”

“So… what was it that you asked me before I spaced out?”

“Huh? I jokingly asked you if you had a crush on your ‘bromate’ dad.”

That word again. Crush. I could feel my face heating up.

_[I think he knows his footprints_

_On the sidewalk_

_Lead to where I can't stop_

_Go there every night]_

“Oh…my God. Dad…do you…actually…?” I stare at Amanda’s face, covered with surprise. I instinctively nodded at her slowly.

“How did that happen Dad?” Amanda sits down in front of me.

“I…couldn’t tell you, Panda. Maybe…it’s how he’s changed so much. So responsible, good looking, great father, amazing body, hardworking, toned biceps, a smile that can light up the world, wash rack abs-…” I immediately stop myself.

_[I think he knows his hands around_

_A cold glass_

_Make me wanna know that body_

_Like it's mine]_

Amanda is still looking at me with raised brows in shock. I immediately covered my mouth with both hands. “Did I really just say that out loud?” My voices came out muffled but Amanda nods at me.

“Dad that’s….great! I’m so happy for you! You have a potential partner in mind now!” Amanda takes my hands and smiles at me. “You know what that means right? You gotta follow that feeling and shoot your shot! When are you gonna hangout with him again?”

“I-…we, well I’m not sure when we’ll hangout again. I wanted to take him camping sometime, just to have him relax and not work himself to the bone.” I pause for a second. “…And I wanna relive some of our camping adventures.” Amanda raises an eyebrow at me. “…And…I want to…spend more time with him.” I can feel my face flushing again.

_[He got that boyish look that I like in a man_

_I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans_

_It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands_

_No one understands]_

“Then it’s settled! I’ll even help you plan what you need for this activity.” Amanda stands up.

“Wait, Amanda sweetie…now I’m not sure I want to do this.” I stood up as well.

“Dad, I’m just looking out for you. Like what you do for me. I wanna see you happy.”

“I appreciate that Amanda, I do. But you’re forgetting that…. Craig is a straight man. There’s no way he can share the same budding feelings I have for him.” But deep down in my heart, I hope he does. Even if it’s a slim chance.

_[He got my heartbeat_

_Skipping down 16th Avenue_

_Got that, oh! I mean_

_Wanna see what's under that attitude]_

“Hmm, yeah that is quite the conundrum.” Amanda crosses her arms for a moment.

“Plus he might be weirded out by any sort of advances from me. The last thing I want to do is… ruin the only good thing I have with him.” I lower my eyes to the ground. I don’t think my heart could ever take another severed relationship.

“Well then, have you ever noticed any advances he’s done to you?” Amanda perks up for a bit.

I furrow my brows at her. “Amanda, he’s been in a straight relationship ever since I met him in colle-”

“No, no, no Dad. I mean, now. As in the few hangouts you’ve had with him since seeing him again.”

“I’ve only hanged out with him three times since seeing him again. Technically twice, since we had that mom interrupt us at that pizza place. The two times I did hangout with him, we were focused on exercise.”

“Ugh, Dad please, just humor me for a minute. Has he made any kind of advances on you when you were working out?”

I sighed. “Well… let me think.” I said, almost sarcastically. “He gave me a protein shake on our first work out and he gave me a water bottle just today.”

“That’s something! C’mon Dad, you gotta take what you can get.”

I facepalmed. “Amanda, that’s just called being a nice pers-” I stopped and remembered something.

_“Sorry, dude!” Craig runs over to me. “Are you okay?”_

_“Yeah, I’m fine.” I clutched my forehead in pain._

_“Wait, lemme do the Dad thing for a second.” Craig holds my face on one hand and he moves my side bangs with the other. He spends a moment examining my forehead._

_“It’s worse than I thought.”_

_“Heh, are you gonna kiss it to make it feel better?”_

_“You would be so lucky.” Craig smirks at me._

_“I mean… I feel like I’ve earned it at this point. Waiting all day to hang out with you.” I leaned in to the hand he was holding my face with. It was nice and warm._

_Craig takes a moment. “Well…” He held my face with both hands now and he leans in and kisses my forehead. “Walk it off, champ.” He pats my shoulder._

Oh my God.

_[I want you, bless my_

_I want you, bless my_

_I want you, bless my soul]_

“What is it, Dad?” Amanda asked.

“Craig… kissed my forehead.” I can feel my face reddening again.

“WHAT?! When?!” Amanda jumped in shock.

“When we were just playing catch, after escaping from the moms in the pizza place. I got hit with the ball in the forehead and he kissed it to make it better”

“How long did he kiss you?”

“Uhh… maybe like, two seconds?” An odd question.

“There you go! No straight man would kiss another guy, especially any longer than a millisecond.”

“I…guess. But, he probably did that as a joke. He probably did that to compensate for the long wait to hang out with him.”

“Regardless, you will take Craig camping. C’mon dad, take a chance every now and then. You don’t have to make any romantic moves on him, just be your regular self. Have fun and enjoy the outdoors together.”

Since when did my daughter become a relationship advisor? But I do want to spend more time with Craig, and camping will help him get away from his busy life for a bit. Looks like a win-win situation, even if nothing happens between us. Who knows? Maybe my feelings for Craig will subside.

“Okay, okay. I’ll take Craig camping soon, when his schedule allows it.”

After that, we spent some time in the kitchen thinking up what necessities Craig and I need for our camping trip. Once we’ve sorted and listed everything we needed, I went to bed that night with a single thought until I fell asleep:

_Can Craig fall for someone like me?_

_[I ain't gotta tell him_

_I think he knows]_

* * *

I look at the picture Amanda had given me as a present before she left for college to pursue her dream as a photographer. One summer has gone by since then and I still miss her dearly, even if she visits for the holidays. I don’t get too lonely here at home though: my new job keeps me busy, house chores needs to be done, hanging out with the other dads, taking care of Briar, Hazel, and River whenever I’m given the chance, and working out with Craig. Speaking of Craig, he should be here soon.

_[Fever dream high_

_In the quiet of the night_

_You know that I caught it_

_Bad, bad boys_

_Shiny toy with a price_

_You know that I bought it]_

I look out the window and sure enough, I see him leaving his place and walking over to mine. I quickly ran upstairs to my room to get to the roof of my house. Ever since the camping adventure I had with Craig, we’ve been secretly dating and spending more time together. I’ll never forget that night we had in the tent. I can feel my face heating up at the thought of the romantic moment. I opened my window and carefully climbed my way up to the roof. The way isn’t steep but it’s always best to be careful. I find a good sitting position and get comfy. I texted Craig earlier saying the front door is open for him, lock it when he gets inside, and meet me in the backyard. Tonight is one of those nights where we would either visit each other and just stargaze while talking about anything. But I thought tonight can be a bit different. Just then, I hear the door open and see a confused Craig looking around.

“Looking for me?” I said loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for our neighbors to wake up to.

I see Craig jump in surprise. He looks up to me as I wave up to him as I giggle at him.

“Bro! Geez, you scared me.”

_[Killing me slow, out the window_

_I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below]_

“Come join me up here tonight. We’ll be slightly closer to the stars.” I patted a space next to me for him to sit.

“How do I get up there bro?”

“Just head into my room and climb out the window.”

For a moment, Craig looks at the cherry blossom tree and analyzes it. “Hang on; I’ll take the shorter route.” Craig started climbing the tree.

“Oh lord, please be careful!” I say to him with worry.

_[Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes_

_What doesn't kill me makes me want you more]_

With nimble limbs and great upper body strength, Craig didn’t even break a sweat climbing the tree. In no time, he’s already sitting beside me with a cheeky grin.

“Not bad huh?” Craig chuckles

“Th-that was impressive…” I stare at him with wide eyes. You would think that I would already be used to seeing Craig doing any physically demanding task with ease, but it still amazes me.

“Heh, you should’ve seen Briar and Hazel try it on our tree, back in the day. Those two had a lot of energy to burn.” Craig relaxes and lays down on my roof, as I do the same.

Craig’s kids are with Ashley this summer, as she wanted to spend time with them. Meaning, I get to have Craig all to myself without much distractions. I silently thank her in my mind for still being friends with Craig, but mostly for this opportunity. We spent our nights just doing this whenever we would have time, but summer nights were the best for stargazing. The nights were cooler and not a cloud in sight to cover the stars that coat the sky. We would point constellations that looked like butts and just laugh at it.

“This is fun. I like doing this with you.” I said to Craig.

Craig smiles at me and lays on his side. “I…like being with you.” He takes my glasses off and puts them on the side. He cups my face in his hand and I nuzzle to his warmth. I shuffle closer to him and he leans in and kisses me on the lips. I make a small sound at the forcefulness. After a few seconds, the both of us relax and enjoy the moment.

_[And it's new_

_The shape of your body, it's blue_

_The feeling I've got_

_And it's ooh, whoa oh_

_It's a cruel summer_

_With you]_

We let go for a breath and just look at each other’s eyes. His eyes were a pretty light brown color. Under the sun, it really shows off the brownish gold in his eyes. I cup his face in my hand as well, stroking his cheek with my thumb. But… Craig was looking at me in a really tense way.

“You okay, Craig?” I asked just to be sure.

Craig pauses for a second and sits up. He stares at the sky for a moment. I sit up as well and look at him. Did he… not like the kiss? But we’ve done it many times now since we’ve started dating.

“Craig?” I gently shake his shoulder. Somehow it brought him back to Earth.

“Oh…uh, s-sorry about that dude.” Craig scratches the back of his head.

“Everything okay? It kind of looked like you were trying to melt me with laser vision or something.” I tried to make light of the situation.

“Oh, um, sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out like that. It’s just that….umm…” Craig looks at me again, with that tense look again. “I don’t know how to say this… but…” He’s tripping over his words.

I figured I’d help him relax. I rub his back with my right hand, just to let him know to take his time to formulate his words. This helped a little bit as I see Craig loosen up.

“Umm… it’s just that...” He’s still looking at me.

_[So cut the headlights_

_Summer's a knife_

_I'm always waiting for you_

_Just to cut to the bone]_

This is a strange moment. I’ve never seen Craig so… nervous, for lack of a better word. We’ve been dating for a year and he’s never acted any different until now. Just then, Craig releases a sigh.

“Ok. Sorry. I like… that we’re dating, and I like spending time with you. When we were looking at each other after that kiss… it just dawned in my mind that I’m dating a guy right now, when all my life I’ve dated girls, you know?”

At this point, I stopped rubbing his back. I feel that my heart could stop beating at any second. Oh no…. is he gonna realize that… I’m not good enough for him unless I was a girl? That we would be better off as friends? Craig immediately held my hand when he saw that I wasn’t responding.

_[It's cool_

_That's what I tell 'em, no rules_

_In breakable heaven but_

_Ooh, whoa oh_

_It's a cruel summer_

_With you]_

“B-but I do like being with you dude! It’s not your fault or anything! I… I just kind of freaked myself out about my sexual preference is all.”

I heard and understood what he said, but I was still paralyzed by the sudden thoughts that popped in my mind that I couldn’t say anything. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I just nodded at him as the best way of comprehension.

“Ah, shit.” Craig immediately embraced me. “Hey, it’s okay bro. ‘We’re’ okay. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. Nothing’s gonna change between us.” His warmth brought me back to my senses and I hugged him back. A few tears escaped my eyes and landed on Craig’s shoulder but I managed to force them back.

“S-sorry, Craig. I… guess it’s your turn to comfort me.” I tried to make the situation light again.

Craig releases the hug and looks at me. He was smiling when he looked at me, but then it slowly dropped as he saw a trail of tears on me. _Damnit._ _Now he’s gonna feel bad again_. Craig gently wipes away the tears on me with his thumb.

I took his hand and just caressed it. “I’m okay, Craig. I know you need more time to fully get into a relationship with a guy. Which is why, our relationship still isn’t known to everyone else.” Well, maybe Robert knows. That dude is pretty observant. But surely he isn’t the type to spread it around right?

“Yeah…” Craig rubs the back of his neck, still looking down.

_[I'm drunk in the back of the car_

_And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar_

_Said "I'm fine", but it wasn't true_

_I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you]_

“I totally get it Craig, I do. You’re not ready to announce to everyone that you’re dating the same sex. I don’t mind that we’re dating secretly. We’ll just let things happen naturally between us and see what happens.” I gave him a reassuring smile.

Craig pulls me in to a hug again, this time our foreheads touching. “I really appreciate it.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry again, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“I’m okay.” I rubbed his back again. “It’s like you said, we’re gonna be okay.”

Once we’ve calmed down, we went back to stargazing and talking about different subjects. Our positions changed this time: I was sitting up while I had Craig resting on my lap, looking up at me. At this point, we just looked at each other and admired each other in silence. I played with his hair in one hand while he held my hand on the other. I didn’t realize that I had quietly but audibly said ‘I love you’ to him.

“You… love me?” Craig asked.

“Oh… you heard that?” Craig nods at me. “Well… is that the worst thing you’ve ever heard from me?”

He grins at me, a devilish grin. But it’s a smile that I would protect with all my life.


	5. Death By A Thousand Cuts/The Archer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert fans rejoice, his cameo is here.  
Warning: subtle hints to suicide.

**Chapter 5**

I haven’t been feeling my usual self since the last week. I’ve started using up my vacation hours as I wasn’t in the mood to work. When I did go to work, it was hard to keep up a fake smile to customers and coworkers. I would take my lunch break inside my car and just blast the music to drown out everything. Working out could help ease this depression, but I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed these days. The only time I would get up is if I was hungry or had to use the bathroom. My diet hasn’t been great lately either: I’d order pizza at midnight when everyone else is asleep so they won’t bother me. I’m not sure how much weight I’ve gained by doing this but I just feel heavy and slow. The other dads may have noticed that I haven’t gone out of my house lately as they’ve messaged me in Dadbook asking if I want to hang out. I just told them that I was busy or I wasn’t feeling the best at the moment. Craig, especially, has messaged me to try to get me to work out with him again. Sometimes it would take me a good hour to get back to him as I didn’t want to talk to him at the moment. I’ve started avoiding Craig the most and I hated that I was doing this to him.

Why am I being so stubborn? Why am I doing this to myself? Why are you hurting yourself and everyone around you? Tears started welling up in my eyes and I quickly rubbed them away. I know why I’m like this, I just tried to push it to the back of my mind to make sure I didn’t see it was real. Two weeks ago, Craig invited me out to watch him coach his little softball team. I got off work early and decided to get there as fast as I can. When I did, I saw Craig hugging a woman. Specifically, his divorced wife Ashley. Briar, Hazel, and River, strapped in front of Craig, were standing around them. They looked like a happy family.

It… made me jealous. I felt like I was a home wrecker, an intruder, an unwanted third wheel, a “side bitch” as Amanda taught me before. I quietly slipped away, hoping Craig didn’t see me. I messaged him back saying I won’t be able to make it as I’m working overtime, when instead I went home and laid in bed for the rest of the day crying myself to sleep.

Before I knew it, I reached the park and saw that it was empty. Makes sense considering the sun is setting soon. There was still some sun left so I decided to do some thinking on one of the swings. I haven’t gotten on one of these things in a long time. I wasn’t even in the mood to use the swings for its purpose. I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and taking in the scenery. How am I gonna face Craig when this is over? What’s going on in his mind right now? Is he having doubts about our relationship? So many possible questions kept coming and I didn’t have an answer for any of them.

_[Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts_

_Flashbacks waking me up_

_I get drunk, but it's not enough_

_'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby]_

“… Hey.”

A voice scares me back to reality and I see that Robert was standing next to me. “Oh geez Robert. You scared me.” I clutched my chest. “How long have you been there?”

“Not long.” He says plainly. Seriously, how did he not make a sound when he walked up to me?

“Did… you need something or…?”

“Yeah. You’re in my spot.” He points to the swing I’m sitting on.

“O-oh… sorry.” I get up and move to the next one.

I got to know Robert a bit more over the past year. He’s a good guy underneath all that dark and mysterious vibe he gives off. Loves to tell fake stories to get a good reaction. I’ve fallen for it many times, he’s good at making things believable. I was also able to get him to stop smoking and reduce his alcohol intake as it hurt me to see him killing himself slowly, as a friend. He’s doing much better now and I’m glad to see it. I’d like to think we’re in good terms to be friends… hopefully?

“What do you think you’re doing?” Robert asked almost in an annoyed voice.

“Huh?” I look over to him as he gently swings back and forth.

“Why aren’t you using the swing?”

“I… just needed some time to think. I’m not in the mood to swing.”

“Seems kind of a waste on the swing, but I understand your reason.” Robert turns his gaze back forward as he swings back and forth.

What Robert hated was small talk and I am not about to tell him my problems, especially since it involves Craig. As much as I wanted to be alone, being around Robert is an exception since he values silence. I bring myself back to my own thoughts about Craig.

How am I going to explain how I feel to Craig? Should I just keep this up and detach myself from him? Are we not bros for life anymore? Does he want to breakup with me? Was I never really that good enough for him? Could he be getting back together with Ashley? And that they’ll be a happy family again, leaving me behind? I can feel the tears welling up. I took a deep breath to try and hold back the tears. It would be so embarrassing for Robert to see me cry. I wiped away some tears forming in my eyes.

_[I look through the windows of this love_

_Even though we boarded them up_

_Chandelier still flickering here_

_'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not_

_It's death by a thousand cuts]_

“Okay, I’ll bite. What’s going on with you?” Robert stops swinging and folds his arms around him.

“Huh?!” _Crap, he noticed_.

“I can’t focus on my brooding while you’re here feeling like shit. The other guys and I haven’t heard from you in a while, so something’s up with you.”

I gotta think of a believable lie, I did learn from the best from our hang outs. “I… I’ve just been a little depressed lately. My… cousin passed away… we were close and… I wasn’t there for his final moments.” My cousin is doing just fine, and I hate using the family member passed away card. But surely Robert will respect this and understand.

“Bullshit. You told me you hate using that excuse and I see you fiddling with your shirt.”

_Damnit._ He’s too good.

“Okay, then. Since you’re so good at being observant, I’ll let you guess to why I’m like this.” I challenged Robert. Probably not my best idea.

“I might have an idea, but I’m no mind reader.” Robert shrugs.

“Well, I’m listening. What’s your guess?”

“It’s about muscle head Craig.”

He’s _really_ good. I just look away from Robert. Robert takes this as a correct guess and he just makes sound.

“Are you gonna make fun of Craig and I and tell the other neighbors about us?” I keep my eyes away from him.

“The hell? What kind of man do you take me for?” Robert scoffs. “Did you forget that I tried to have a one night stand with you when you were new here?”

Oh… right. That almost happened.

“Look, I don’t care if you wanna tell me or not. But you being this emotional mess is turning you into… me, but without the drinking and smoking. I don’t like it.” It kind of sounded like he was about to add another problem to that but he let that go. “And this town doesn’t need two brooding maniacs. So get your shit together, or else I’m gonna torture you until you feel happiness again.”

Wow. That legit sounded intimidating.

As if on cue, my phone started ringing. It’s Craig calling. I sighed.

“Pick it up.” Robert says, flashing his knife at me.

“Okay, geez…” I get up from the swing and move a few steps away from the swing. Once I was out of earshot from Robert, I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Bro? It’s Craig.”

“Yeah… I know. What did you need?”

“Hey dude, I know you… I know something’s going on with you. You’ve got me worried, bro.” Craig said in a sad tone. It hurt for me to hear him like that.

“I’m okay… I promise. I’m not hurt.” Not physically anyway.

“That’s good to hear. But… is it okay if we can just talk? I wanna know how you’re really doing.”

Thinking about it, I turn back to Robert. He was looking at me, then immediately focused back at his whittling. I sighed again. “Okay… what do you wanna know?

“Not here. I wanna talk to you face to face. Can you swing by at the softball field later around 9pm?”

Odd, it’s gonna be dark there. “Alright then. I’ll see you then.” I hang up on him. I still have some time before then. I went up to Robert.

“Hey… I’m gonna go now Robert.” He didn’t say anything. He was still focused on his whittling. “I’ll… see you later. We’ll hang out again soon.” I turned my back and made my way back to my place to prepare what will happen later.

“Don’t fuck it up kid.” I hear Robert say from behind. I stop and look back at him. He was looking at me with a serious stare. I kept his word in the back of my mind. I smiled back at him.

“Thanks, Robert.”

_[I dress to kill my time_

_I take the long way home_

_I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright_

_They say, "I don't know"]_

The meeting time draws near. I decided to leave my house ten minutes prior, that way I’ll be there exactly at nine. I think getting to appointed times early has me scarred from what I saw previously. When I reached the softball field, one stadium light was open and I can see Craig standing alone in the field. I took one last deep breath and made my way toward him.

Craig heard my footsteps as he turned to me. “Bro! Glad you could make it.” He smiled at me, but then it slowly went away when he saw that I haven’t gotten much sleep lately. I’ve probably gained a bit of weight too, to his surprised.

“Hey…” I say with low energy.

“Um… I’m glad to see you’re still alive, at least.” Craig rubs the back of his neck.

I nodded at him. “Yeah… same to you.”

“C’mon bro. Talk to me. Why have you been avoiding everyone? Avoiding me especially.”

This set me off. “Why do I have to tell you anything? I just wanna be alone, Craig.”

“Dude, you’ve been alone for almost all of October. At this point, I gotta figure out what’s going on with you.”

“Why should you care about how I’m doing? I’m doing fine.”

_Stop._

“You’re clearly not, dude. You haven’t gotten enough sleep, you don’t leave your house as often, your front lawn hasn’t been mowed, almost no human interaction, and you’ve gained a bit of weight.”

“What, are you gonna tell me what’s good for me now?! Are you my parent now?! And maybe I wanted to put on a bit of weight. Are you gonna body shame me for it?!”

_Stop it!_

“Bro… why… are you so aggressive all of a sudden!? I’m just trying to help you!” Craig taken aback. I don’t think he’s ever seen me this angry.

“I don’t want your help! I can figure this out myself, Craig!” My face is heating up and tears are forming on my eyes. “Stop thinking about me. You have other things to think about don’t you?!”

“Sean, you’re my bro! I can’t stop thinking about you if there’s something wrong with you.”

“And that’s all I’ll ever be to you right?! Just a ‘bro’. Nothing more, nothing less. I’ll never be good enough for you, is that it?!”

_STOP!_

“I’m done. It was a mistake to be here.” I turned and started walking away, tears streaming down my face.

“Sean, wait!” Craig grabs my arm.

“Let me go!” I try to shake from his grip. “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore! We’re done!”

“What?!” I can see Craig’s eyes glisten under the stadium light.

“We’re done! *sniff* Over! Don’t ever call me bro or anything ever again!” I broke free and ran for my life in to the darkness.

_[And what once was ours_

_Is no one's now_

_I see you everywhere, the only thing we share_

_Is this small town]_

I don’t know how long I’ve cried, but once I’ve cried as much as I could I look around to find that my legs took me to the bayside docks. It’s quiet, aside from my sniffling and sea waves moving around. No one was around other than me. The lighthouse had its beacon on and the lamp posts were lighting the area around me. I sat on the bench where Amanda and I ate burritos that one time. I needed to be alone.

_[My heart, my hips, my body, my love_

_Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch]_

I hugged myself. The night was colder in Fall but I didn’t wanna go home just yet. I can’t risk running into someone, especially Craig, on my way back to my house.

Craig…

I can’t believe I said all of that to him. I let my emotions get the better of me and now, I’ve lost a friend and lover. I can feel the tears coming back. I covered my face with my hands. How can I ever come back from this? Will I even be able to? Can Craig accept me back as his bro and lover?

“I’m… so sorry…” No one was around me to hear that.

_[Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand_

_Paper cut stings from my paper-thin plans]_

I’m all alone now. Amanda is away from me and I’ve pushed Craig out of my life. There’s no way he’ll take me back. How can I even explain the disconnect between me and Craig if the other neighbors catch on? Am I gonna have to move out again? Where would I go?

Memories come rushing back to my mind to when I had the best times with Craig. From kegstands at parties to camping adventures, study sessions to video game tournaments. Guess these are the only memories I’ll be holding on to, now that I’ve burned the bridge.

I checked my phone and it’s 11:30pm. I should head back, everyone is probably sleeping by now. It’s gonna get colder and getting sick will just pile up on my already bad mood. I got up and slowly made my way back home. I had little energy after running so fast so I gotta conserve it, otherwise I’ll collapse out here.

_[I take the long way home_

_I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright_

_They say, "I don't know"]_

I decided to go through the backlane and entered through my backyard. Just in the off chance someone is still awake and sees me going in my house at this time. I turned on my phone flashlight as Amanda taught me to find my way back into my room. I checked my radio clock to see that it’s 12:15am. I need to sleep this off. Hopefully when I wake up, it won’t be as bad and I’ll hopefully think of a way to apologize to Craig.

* * *

_[Combat, I'm ready for combat_

_I say I don't want that, but what if I do?]_

I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep tonight. I keep waking up every hour and when I would drift back to sleep, I dream of Craig lying next to me and cuddling with me. I knew it was a dream but honestly, I would rather live in this dream than the reality I sowed. For the third time I awake from my slumber, I checked the time to see that it’s 3am. I rub my eyes and take a deep breath. I just wanted a peaceful sleep so I can return to my blissful dream where I’m with my friend and lover.

_[Easy they come, easy they go_

_I jump from the train, I ride off alone_

_I never grew up, it's getting so old_

_Help me hold onto you]_

It’s obvious that I won’t be able to get a good night sleep so I decided to stay awake a bit longer. I sit at the edge of my bed and just ponder all of the bad things that happened to my life. It’s crazy how I was able to get through all of them. Will I get through this one? Am I gonna be stuck in regret forever? No, I can’t think like that. I always believe that there is a light at the end of every tunnel. But… the problem is how can I explain myself to Craig? Will he even listen to what I have to say?

_[I've been the archer_

_I've been the prey_

_Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?_

_But who could stay?]_

I got up my bed and just walked around my room, trying to think of the words I’m gonna say to Craig. An apology is a start, but how do I follow up on it? Do I take Craig out for dinner? Should I book a vacation for him and babysit his kids? Perhaps another camping trip? As I walk around my room, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in my floor length mirror.

Damn.

I look like I was chewed up and spat out. I definitely gained a bit of weight as my stomach isn’t as flat as I wanted it to be. My eyes have bags under them. Physically and mentally, I’m drained. I hated the person I became. I hated the things I did and said to Craig. He didn’t deserve that.

_[And I cut off my nose just to spite my face_

_Then I hate my reflection for years and years]_

_[I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost_

_The room is on fire, invisible smoke]_

It’s now 3:45am and I’m glad I decided to use up my vacation hours as going to work in my situation would be hell. I just can’t think of any other way to follow up after an apology. Maybe I can make him something? But what exactly? A veggie cake with “Can we still be bros?” written on top of it?” Probably not that but I’ll keep the idea of making something for him. I make my way down to the kitchen for a glass of warm milk. Maybe it’ll help me get back to sleep. As I heat up my glass in the microwave, I scroll through the pictures of Craig and I on our secret dates. Each picture takes me back to the time I was with him, even if they were recent. Seeing Craig smile in all of the really makes me hate myself for hurting him. I said to myself that I would protect this smile with my life, yet I’m the one who destroyed it. I closed my phone and put it away. I’m just gonna have to do my best to restore the peace, even… even If I’m not his bro anymore.

_[Who could stay?_

_You could stay]_

I take the glass of milk out of the microwave and drink it. It was still cold but I didn’t mind. I rinsed the cup and headed back to bed, hopeful that I will still have the same dream of Craig with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With every relationship, there will be some sort of turmoil or falling out.  
Chapter 6 will be out soon <3  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter *fingers and toes crossed*


	6. Soon You'll Get Better/Afterglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait y'all! Life got busy and after many writer's block, Chapter 6 is ready to go! Please enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

Two days after my falling out with Craig, I haven’t seen him since. Not that I was avoiding him, I was actually actively waiting for him. I’ve checked the gym, the softball field, his jogging route, and even knocked on his door. His kids Briar, Hazel, and River weren’t around either. Did they move out before I can even apologize to him? I would message him on Dadbook but I want to talk to him in person, not through online. I’ve greeted the other dads along the way and they were just slightly taken back by my slight weight gain. I’ve apologized to each of them for being absent and that I’ll rejoin their gatherings again, once I’ve sorted out my “issues”.

I woke up early today to get to the gym and just get back into working out. I missed how good it feels to finish a work out. After a good hour and a half at the gym, I decided to mow the lawn as my grass is the tallest out of all the other lawns. Brian offered to help and honestly, I wasn’t in the mood to be in a competitive mindset so I gladly accepted his offer. His lawn looks the best out of all of us, if I’m being honest. I told Brian that he can give the hedges a trim, as it’s grown to a point that it looks like a brick wall is hiding underneath all the greenery. Once we were done, I thanked Brian for his time. I told him I’d help him with his garden too at a another time, as a way of repayment.

After I’ve taken a shower, Damien messaged me and invited me for high tea. I gladly accepted as I missed enjoying chatting with him over some good finger food and tea. I’m always amazed at the presentation of how the table is set for high tea at Damien’s place. I feel like I don’t belong in this rich atmosphere.

“How have you been good friend?” Damien asked, sipping some of his tea.

“Um… you know, just doing my best.” I let out an awkward chuckle. I feel like I lost all interaction skills ever since I secluded myself.

“Are you sure? You seem uncertain.”

“I’m… sorry. I’ve just been going through some… personal things. Again, I’ll attend to gatherings again once I’ve sorted everything going on.”

“That’s good to hear. Er, I mean, good to hear as in… good that we will be seeing more of you again. Not… that it’s good that you’re going through some personal… uhh…”

“It’s okay, Damien. I get what you’re trying to say.” I smiled at him. Wow, I really missed this. Just hanging out and chatting with the other dads. I decided to chat a little bit more on what I’ve missed on the past week from Damien. Aside from a few things Damien said that Craig had to go visit a friend of his, with his kids. Damien forgot the rest of the details but he remembered that Craig should be returning back later tonight. After a few more bites of sandwiches, I thanked Damien for the invitation and his time. I promised him that we will have another hang out soon and went on with the rest of my day. With the knowledge of Craig coming back later tonight, I was filled so many emotions. I was happy to know he’ll be returning but will he be happy to see me? Will he even acknowledge my existence? I shook my head, trying to remove any negative thoughts. All I have to do is look him in the eye and apologize for my behaviour, that’s it. Whatever his response is, is what was making me nervous the most.

Nightfall came without incident. I laid awake in bed, trying to get some early sleep. Butterflies in my stomach, keeping me up at the anticipation of seeing Craig again. There’s so many things that I want to say to him and knowing me, the second I walk up to him I’ll choke up and just stand there like an idiot. To whichever higher power is hearing my thoughts, please grant me the strength to say what I need to say when I see Craig. As I lay awake a bit longer, I intently listen to the cars that pass by our cul-de-sac:

……

……

…I heard a police siren go by…

……

……

Someone revved their engine and drove away (rude)…

……

… Someone else revved their engine and drove away (double rude)…

……

A firetruck’s siren went by…

……

……

I think that was… a motorbike that went by…

……

……

… was that… an… ambulance…?

Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

<strike></strike>

When I woke up the next morning, I saw that it was 7:30am on my radio clock. That was a good sleep, I really should get more hours on sleep. I looked out my window and it’s barely breaking dawn. Not sure if anyone is awake at this time yet but I might as well get my day going since I don’t feel groggy after waking up. After I’ve showered, I went to the kitchen to make my morning coffee and breakfast. I decided to go for eggs and toast, as you can’t go wrong with a classic. After eating, I brought the remains of my coffee and brought it with me to the living room to watch some TV. I did some channel surfing to see what was on at this time and there wasn’t much that interested me. I stuck with the news channel to see what’s going on today.

“For today’s weather, it’ll mostly be cloudy with a slight wind blowing from the north and our high temperature today will be around 45 degrees Fahrenheit. Our lowest temperature later tonight will be 30 degrees, so it’s gonna be a chilly day so be sure to dress warmly.” The weatherman said.

“Guess I gotta bring some scarf and gloves.” I said to myself

The camera switches over to the traffic reporter. “Thank you Norman for giving us today’s weather. For our traffic today, the major thing I can report on is the intersection of Merrimac Street and New Chardon Street has been closed off due to a collision that happened about 10:10pm or so last night. Due to the collision, it was very backed up in that area last night and police has closed off the intersection as I mentioned before, so people are gonna have to find a way around that area.”

I shuddered at the thought of the collision. Ever since the… accident that took Alex’s life, I’ve never really recovered from the trauma. It’s why I’m always paying extra attention when I’m on the road. Heck, I was even a nervous wreck driving Amanda before going off to college. I did my best to hide it of course, as I didn’t want Amanda to be worried about me. Even now, I have to take a couple of deep breaths before backing out of my driveway, just to shake off the anxiety bubbling in me. I take a sip of my coffee and was ready to switch to a different channel when something caught my eye on screen.

The camera had switched to the news reporter and she was explaining the events of the collision, with footage being filmed:

“-police say that the driver in the 4x4 pickup truck collided with the blue SUV, as they were under the influence. The street camera was able to catch the moment the pickup truck was seen running a red light and had T-boned the blue SUV at the intersection. The driver of the blue SUV had to be taken to the hospital as they were unresponsive and injured from the collision. As for the other driver, they were arrested for further investigation. No other civilians were hurt during this incident.”

I wasn’t listening to the reporter anymore. I recognize that blue SUV on screen. It’s... Craig’s car. My vision started getting blurry as tears ran down my face. I also didn’t realize that I stood up and knocked over my coffee cup. Does that mean… what I heard last night before going to bed…

“N… no… not again…” I said with a shaky voice.

Without a second thought I rushed upstairs to change as fast I could and headed for the crash site. I tried to calm down as I didn’t want to get myself into a crash as well. I cursed every stop light I waited on and tried to not honk my horn at a training car that was going a little too slow. Soon enough, I arrived at the closed off intersection. I saw Craig’s car had been badly damaged on the driver’s side. I had to shake off the memories coming back to me, when I rushed to Alex’s crash site. I walked up to one of the officers on site and asked her where they took the injured driver, as I knew him personally. Once I told and showed her proof, she told me the directions on how to get to the hospital.

_[The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair_

_In doctor's-office-lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared_

_That was the first time we were there]_

After an hour and a half of being in the waiting room, I was able to go in Craig’s room to where he’s being treated. The doctor told me Craig’s biopsy while I was waiting. He said that Craig suffered from a concussion with a small gash on his forehead, a broken left arm, and a twisted left ankle. They were able to stabilize him but they’ll be keeping a close eye on him.

As I entered the room, I saw Craig resting in his bed. My heart sank at his appearance. He has an oxygen mask on, bandages wrapped around his head, an arm cast on his left arm, and an ankle cast. The doctor wasn’t sure when he’ll wake up either. They’ll just have to wait and so will I. I grabbed a chair and just sat in front of him. My eyes were welling up in tears again. Seeing him like this kills me. I’d rather switch places with him just so he isn’t like this.

_[Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you_

_Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too]_

If I knew something bad was going to happen to Craig, I would have controlled my emotions better that day we talked. I never would have said ‘we are over’. I never would have said ‘don’t call me bro’. I gently held his free right hand with mine. They were a bit cold since he’s been here overnight. I sandwiched his right hand with both my hands to warm it up.

“I’m… so glad you’re hanging on…” I know he can’t hear me right now, but… I felt the need to say something. I don’t really practice any religion but I decided to do a small prayer for Craig.

“To whatever higher power is hearing my prayer… please give Craig the strength to overcome this. Please help him get better…” I say in a hushed voice.

_[And I say to you_

_Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon]_

“…because… he has to get better. His kids still need him.... and… ‘I’ still need him.”

_[And I hate to make this all about me]_

“Please *sniff*… don’t take him away from his loved ones.” My tears came streaming down my face once again.

_[But who am I supposed to talk to?]_

“Please… don’t take him away from me. Don’t take… away another *sniff* person that I love.”

_[What am I supposed to do]_

“I… love him. Please… I don’t want to lose him too… *sniff*”

_[If there's no you?]_

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost a week has passed by since Craig’s car crash. The other dads learned about his incident when they learned that I was at the hospital the whole day. They all visited his room and felt bad about his condition and how pitiful I looked, crying over him. They know that I’ve been friends with Craig since college and they’ve comforted me outside of his room, saying that he’ll wake up and be back to his energetic self. I believed what they said because I know Craig, that’s what he would do; he’ll give that big smile and laugh off like nothing happened.

Every day after work, I made sure to come visit him and hoped that he would open his eyes. In one of my visits I saw Ashley, Briar, Hazel, and River in his room looking solemn. I’ve only met Ashley through my college years and never saw her or Craig after graduating. She came over to give me a hug and thanked me for being a good friend to Craig and watching over him. I’ve learned from her that she recently got engaged to her fiancé and that’s when she had asked to have Craig and his kids come over to meet her fiancé. Craig had to leave a few days early due to work and so she spent the time with his kids. They’re still her kids since she gave birth to them. She spent the rest of the days with the kids so that her fiancé can be okay with the idea that she already has given birth and that they have other parental figures to go to if they need help in the long run of their lives. I reassured Briar, Hazel, and River that Craig is a tough guy and that he will be okay.

Ever since their visit, I’ve been volunteering to look after Craig’s kids in the meantime as Ashley had to drive back to her home. Taking care of them isn’t so bad; Briar and Hazel were able to take care of themselves other than cooking and they only asked me things if they needed to. Taking care of River wasn’t too bad either, as I’ve had my share of taking care of an infant with Amanda.

Yesterday, Robert came to visit Craig and me as well. The other dads decided to routinely check up on me to see if I was tired or hungry from looking after Craig. It was Robert’s turn and he brought me a slice of warm Hawaiian pizza. I thanked him and he stayed for a bit chatting with me. He knew I ‘fucked up’ on my meet up with Craig based on how I was acting and wanted me to learn from this.

_“Don’t take the ones you love for granted. You’re lucky… that he wasn’t killed instantly.”_

I needed to hear that. I admit that I can’t control my emotions at times and having a blunt friend like Robert really helps. When it was time for him to go, I hugged him and thanked him. I don’t think he was expecting a hug as he jumped a bit, but he reciprocated with a hug back.

_“He’ll wake up. Just be there for him.”_ Robert whispered in my ear and left.

_[This won't go back to normal, if it ever was_

_It's been days of hoping, and I keep saying it because_

_'Cause I have to]_

Tonight, I was with Craig again. Hugo had already visited me with some store-bought sandwiches and I thanked him for it. In a few minutes, I’ll be leaving as I have work again tomorrow.

“I’ll be back tomorrow evening again Craig.” I held his hand again. Knowing full well he still can’t hear me, I still wanted to let him know that I would be here by his side. ‘_I’m not going to lose you. I… have too many things to say to you that you need to hear.’_ I thought to myself. I sat back down and did a silent prayer for Craig.

_[Ooh-ah, you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon]_

_‘Lord almighty above, please help heal his wounds. Please wake him up and help him overcome his situation. Bring back his warm smile and courageous spirit when he wakes up. Please let him know that I will be there for him when he needs it. Amen.’_ I opened my eyes and gently caressed Craig’s hand.

_[Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, soon you'll get better_

_Ooh-ah, you'll get better soon_

_'Cause you have to]_

“I’ll be here for you Craig. I… I won’t run away from you ever again. I’ll see you again tomorrow evening.” I stopped caressing his hand.

As I turned away and was about to let go, I felt a small amount of pressure applied to my hand. I stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes widening in realization, I slowly looked back at Craig.

“C… Craig…?!”

“… Br… o…”

* * *

When Craig woke up, I immediately ran out to alert the nurses. I waited outside as the doctor and nurses surround him, letting him know of his current condition and the events that unfolded. He’ll need at least another two weeks of bed rest here, at least until his ankle heals up so he can walk around again. I silently cried to myself, thanking whoever answered my prayer. I decided to call in sick at my job as the next day; I brought over Briar, Hazel, and River for them to rejoice at his father’s awakening. Lots of crying happened. Well, River stayed her happy giggling self, seeing her dad again. The girls even ‘Facetimed’ Ashley so she can see how her friend was doing.

The other dads came over that evening with food for Craig; some homemade soup, bread, a fruit platter, and some protein bars so they’re easy to digest for Craig. They stayed chatting and sometimes laugh at the puns they were making. I was enjoying their company as well. I’m glad to be a part of this dad community, honestly. Soon enough it was time for them to go. I decided to stay a little longer to watch over Craig, plus I didn’t have work tomorrow. Originally I wanted to say the things I need to say to Craig after he was healed, but this is just as good as any other opportunity.

“So… how are you feeling right now?” I say as I sit by his bedside.

“Other than my injuries, I’m doing okay.” Craig smiled softly at me. Goddamn, that smile of his just melts me.

“That’s… uh, good to hear.” I scratched my head. Damnit Sean, just apologize already.

“Heh… yeah.” Craig nods at me.

“I’ve been, uh, looking after your kids while you’ve been… here.”

“Really? That’s awesome of you dude. I appreciate it.”

“Mmm.” I nodded back at him and we sat there in awkward silence. I knew this is how the situation would play out. I’m so bad with words.

_[I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue_

_Put you in jail for something you didn't do]_

“Um… I’ve been wanting to… talk to you again after we had our-…. sorry, ‘MY’ meltdown.” I couldn’t meet Craig’s eyes. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

Craig doesn’t say anything but I can feel his stare on me.

I take a deep breath. “Listen Craig…”

_[I pinned your hands behind your back, oh_

_Thought I had reason to attack, but no]_

“I’m sorry I… hurt you with what I said… on that night. My emotions got the better of me.”

_[Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves_

_Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us]_

“You didn’t hurt me per say, rather… I was hurt… seeing you go through something that made you so… reclusive. I think that’s the word I’m looking for.”

I chuckled at him. “Yeah that’s… the right word for it.”

_[Why'd I have to break what I love so much?_

_It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say]_

_[Hey_

_It's all me in my head_

_I'm the one who burned us down_

_But it's not what I meant]_

“I wasn’t mad at you for being the way I was back then. It was me… jumping to conclusions and it made me… spiral downwards.” I fidgeted with my hands.

_[Sorry that I hurt you_

_I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you_

_I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you]_

“You… had doubts about us?” Craig said.

Hearing him say that to me felt like someone was twisting a knife that’s already stuck inside me.

“Yes… I did.” I can feel more tears about to spill out.

“Why?” Craig placed his right hand on my left hand. I looked up and met his gaze. He didn’t have an expression on him; he just wants to know ‘why’.

_[I need to say, hey_

_It's all me, just don't go]_

“You can tell me Sean. We’re br-… err, well…” Craig averted his gaze and let go of my hand.

That was the final strike that broke the tear dam to flow through once again. I knew exactly why he hesitated. I took off my glasses and covered my covered my face with my long sleeved sweater.

“*sniff* I’m so s-sorry Craig…!”

_[Meet me in the afterglow]_

“I’ll tell you, okay?! When… y-you messaged me to watch a softball practice… that day, I g-got off work early *sniff*. I got off early to watch… b-but when I arrived... I… I saw Ashley w-with you and… it-it made me jealous. Seeing you hug each other… a-and seeing your kids *sniff* surround the both of you so happy…” I was shaking as I confessed to Craig. “It made me think that *sniff*… you were getting b-back together and… leave me behind.” I sobbed even more.

Craig didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell if he was looking at me, but I kept going with my confession.

_[It's so excruciating to see you low_

_Just wanna lift you up and not let you go]_

“I know… *sniff* it was stupid of me to *hic* jump the g-gun like that. But… doubts kept popping in my mind… I c-couldn’t stop *hic* thinking about the different s-scenarios of you l-leaving me.”

_[This ultraviolet morning light below_

_Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh]_

“I still… I still *hic* love you Craig. I do.” I wiped my tears with my sleeves and saw Craig had a sad expression on. I held his free hand with my left hand. “I didn’t mean all those things *sniff* that I said t-to you. I hated myself for even saying those things to you."

_[I lived like an island, punished you with silence_

_Went off like sirens, just crying]_

“Then, when I saw on the news that… you were in a car crash, I freaked out *hic*. I thought I lost you… the same way I lost Alex.” I sobbed for a minute. The thought that I could have lost Craig, the same way I lost Alex, broke me. “I never would have f-forgiven myself if I lost you… before I h-had the chance to apologize. You have no idea *sniff* how happy I am to even be talking to y-you right now.” I grabbed a piece of tissue nearby and cleaned my face. “So… *sniff* that’s why I avoided everyone… especially you. I still… want us to be bros. I don’t *hic* want us to b-be over.” I wiped away more tears. “But… if you… don’t want me back… I’ll understand. Just know that I’m so sorry…”

This was it. The decision. Craig’s decision. I said what I needed to say to him. If he doesn’t want me back, I would have to respect it even it made me miserable for the rest of my life.

_[Tell me that you're still mine_

_Tell me that we'll be just fine_

_Even when I lose my mind]_

I felt Craig’s hand turn and gently tightened his grip on mine. “Doesn’t it feel better, now that you’ve told me?” Craig had a small smile on him. I didn’t say anything but I nodded at his question. “The reason Smashley visited the practice was because she wanted to tell me and the kids that she was recently engaged.”

“I know *sniff*. She told me when she came by to visit you, when you were still unconscious. That’s when everything made more sense… and how much of an idiot I am.”

“Hey, you’re not an idiot Sean. I totally get why you would have thought those things. But I want you to know that Smashley and I are just on friendly terms. And, I’m happy that she’s engaged. Even though we’re divorced but on good terms, we still gotta take care of the little ones. After all, we created them.”

“Yeah, I know.” I wiped my face with my sleeves.

I was still waiting for an answer from him. I didn’t want to rush him though, he’s been through a car crash after all.

“You know, that was the first time I ever saw you mad. Usually it’s the emotion they’re currently feeling that speaks for them. But since I’ve never seen you mad up till then, I thought you meant everything.”

“I didn’t Craig!” I said a little too quickly. “I still want you. I still want us to be together and… enjoy each other’s company and *sniff* just share more memories together.”

_[I need to say_

_Tell me that it's not my fault_

_Tell me that I'm all you want_

_Even when I break your heart]_

Craig smiled at me. “Well, I’m glad. Because…” Craig slowly sits up. “I still meant what I said back then.” I widen my eyes at him. “I like making new memories with you bro.”

I cried tears of joy this time. “Thank you…! *sniff* thank you Craig.”

“I told you before, we’re gonna be alright.” I nodded back at him. “Don’t be afraid to tell me how you feel, okay? You’ve been there for me, so I’m here for you.” He lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “I love you Sean.”

I get up from my chair and lean in to gently hug him, careful not to hurt him. Bless this man’s heart and soul. I don’t deserve someone as great as him, but I am grateful he’s with me again.

_[Meet me in the afterglow]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me, it hurt me more to even think of putting precious Craig in a car crash. Chapter 7 will be out soon. Hope you enjoyed this feelsy chapter <3.


	7. Gold Eagle Street/False God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual content this chapter.  
Sorry for the wait y'all. Hope you enjoy ;)

**Chapter 7**

After a few week of rest, Craig was fully healed and able to get back to do his regular duties and, of course, exercise. I still worry that if he exerts too much pressure that he may hurt something again but so far, he doesn’t feel any pain which is good. He’s back to his energetic self and we’ve started working out together again. After his arm cast was removed, I wanted to plan a trip with just us two again to celebrate. Unfortunately it will have to be next year as Craig has to catch up on work and the holidays will be coming up soon, which will be even busier.

“So, where was it that you wanted to go?” Craig asked as he hugs me from behind.

“Well, I figured maybe we can visit memory lane and see the area of our college days again.” Craig and I were booking our flight in advance. I was in front of my computer looking for a cheap but aesthetic Air BnB.

“Oh dude! I haven’t been back to Seattle ever since I graduated.”

“Me too. I want to revisit some good memories with you, even though we weren’t ever a ‘thing’ back then.”

“I don’t mind. We had some good memories as roommates.” He chuckles and rests his chin on my head.

We spent the night trying to decide the things we will need and looking for the best flight option. Craig would have to send his kids over to Ashley again for a few days. At this point, Craig was comfortable to tell his kids, Ashley, and the other dads that he and I were dating. They were all happy and accepting. Though the other dads already kind of knew since they would see us two always going to each other’s houses, more so than any person would. Not only that, they would sometimes catch us staring longingly at each other.

The holidays came and Amanda visited once again. I’m glad that I was able to prepare her for college as it’s always a delight to see her slightly grown up and doing well. She and Craig get along well, even if he doesn’t understand some of her references a lot of the time. She teased me if he would go down on one knee for me at the start of the New Year. I know she’s joking but I would probably faint if Craig really did that.

Once the holidays were over and Amanda had to go back to college, she gave me a photo album of the pictures she took on her campus. All of them were beautifully taken with precision and high definition. She’s improved so much and I couldn’t be more proud. The last picture at the end of the album is her and her whole class and it made me smile. I can tell she’s enjoying her time there and the people with her in this picture alone. I stored the album away for safekeeping.

The flight to Seattle didn’t take long but I did sleep for majority of it. Craig’s shoulder is a nice head rest. Once we got off and claimed our luggage, we got in our Uber and headed for the place we were staying in. We chose an apartment to stay in as we wanted to recreate our living situation back in our college days. This apartment was on the third floor of the complex and it has a bit more space than our old dorm did. It also has a balcony that showed the busy streets of Seattle, which our old dorm didn’t have.

_[We were in the backseat_

_Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar]_

“You picked a great place to stay, bro. Really bringing back the feel of college back then.” Craig plopped down next to me on the bed.

“Aww thanks. I want this to be special for the both of us.” I hugged him. “I know it isn’t literally any other place outside of the US, but I thought revisiting some good times would have been fun with you.”

“Hey, anywhere I travel is going to be fun with you around. I know we’ll both enjoy the sightseeing around here.” He hugs me back.

“Yeah, I don’t think we ever really explored enough of the area outside of the college. We studied in some café, ate at some Japanese restaurant, and gone to different bars to drink.”

“Heh, remember how drunk we both were? And my friends drove both of us back to the dorms? You were asleep like a rock while I was singing on the ride home.” Craig chuckled.

“I… vaguely remember drinking a lot that time. Not what happened afterwards.” We both let go of our hug and lay down on the bed.

“You lost a bet that I wouldn’t get a perfect score on one of my exams. Your face was so red after drinking so much.” Craig smiles at me.

“Did I… start going crazy when I was drunk?”

“The opposite actually. You just kind of stared off in the distance a lot of the time or stared at one of your empty glasses. Not gonna lie, I was kind of disappointed that you were still pretty chill and mellow. I expected a wild side out of you to show up.”

“I’m surprised I wasn’t the kind of drunk that would break down in the bathroom.”

“Nah, you were okay. Then I decided to get drunk as well. I knew I would be the loud one so it was only right to balance each other out.” He laughed some more.

We shared a few more stories until we got tired. We went to sleep soundly and Craig would always big spoon me. His strong arm wrapped around me always gave me butterflies in my stomach.

_[We were a fresh page on the desk_

_Filling in the blanks as we go]_

Once we had breakfast in a nearby restaurant, we were off to go see the college building. The Uber ride was quiet and pleasant as Craig and I looked out from our respective window seeing the different buildings. From small cafes, large corporate buildings, and billboards advertising the new WiPhone, I am easily fascinated by them all. Granted I’m like this wherever I would travel to. Once we reached a stop light, Craig nudged me to look over at his window.

_[As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead_

_Leading us home]_

“Bro, look at the dog over there.” Craig pointed at a beautiful labrador retriever dog sitting at the top of some steps, bouncing his paws up and down off the edge of a step.

“Oh… that is so adorable! I want him or her!” I have been overwhelmed with cuteness.

“It kind of looks like it’s waiting for its owner. Just twiddling its paws.” Craig chuckled.

The retriever looked over at our direction and we waved at it. I think it saw us waving at it as it smiled and started panting. When the light changed green and the Uber started moving, I was immediately overcome with sadness. Goodbye precious one, you will be missed. After a few more minutes of sightseeing, I hear the GPS go off in the Uber.

‘Turn right on Gold Eagle Street’

Gold Eagle Street. This is the street where it all began between Craig and me. Meeting him for the first time as my roommate, I was super shy. It was something that never left even after high school for me. But he helped me overcome that. He is more outgoing, the social butterfly you could say. It took me a week or so to be comfortable and open up to him and ever since then, that was the start of something new and beautiful.

_[And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends_

_I'd never walk Gold Eagle Street again]_

Once I paid the driver, we stepped out of the vehicle and marveled at the building that we were standing in front of. A wave of nostalgia washed over both of us and we take a deep breath.

“To think we were here in our early twenties. Where has the time gone?” I look back to Craig. He aged really well: he gained some muscle, cleaned up his act, a great father figure, but he still retained that positive energy.

“Tell me about it dude. I felt like I was here yesterday.” He looks over to me. “What are you staring at?” He smiles at me.

_[That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend_

_I'd never walk Gold Eagle Street again]_

I blush at him. “Oh you know… just admiring.” Craig blushed at me now and rubbed the back of his neck. I snicker at his gesture. “No really, I’m just admiring how much you’ve grown and changed for the better Craig. I really wish you could see how I see you now.” Craig’s face became even redder and looks away for a second.

I lace my fingers around his and hold his hand. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you embarrassed.”

“Thanks, Sean. That really means a lot to me.” He looks back at with a smile and tightens his grip on mine. “Well, shall we head in?” Craig does a small bow.

“Why, it would be my pleasure.” With holding hands, we walked in. Its small moments like this that make me appreciate how lucky I am to have someone like Craig with me. I’ll never take this second chance for granted.

For the most part, the college hasn’t changed much structurally. Though they did do some new paint jobs here and there. Seeing the students walk around and reading books in lounge areas really brought back the struggle of late night cramming. The college snack shop was still open so you know I had to get myself two chocolate chip cookies for Craig and me. Craig was hesitant on taking the other cookie, being the fitness dad he is. But he caved in eventually and he’ll just have to work out twice as hard when we get back to Maple Bay.

We went to the dorm area of the college and stood in front of the hall where our dorm was. We couldn’t go inside our dorm as there was most likely someone already occupying it. But standing in front of that hall was enough to reminisce on the good times Craig and I shared down this hall. We kept walking and I stopped in front of a different hall, realizing that Alex’s dorm was down here. I remember walking down this hall like it was yesterday, visiting Alex to spend time with him after classes. I can feel my eyes getting watery.

Craig noticed that I stopped walking with him and looked back. He looked to the hall I was staring at and he immediately knew. He walked back to me and held my hand.

“You okay?” He gave me a concerned look.

I look back at him and just gave him a small smile and a nod. I rubbed my eyes to stop the tears from flowing. “Yeah… sorry, I… just remembered Alex was down here.”

“I can tell you miss him dude.” He gently tightened his grip on my hand again.

I wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged Craig. “Don’t get me wrong Craig. I’ve already accepted that he’s gone and…” I look back at him. “I’m happy being with you now.”

“I… don’t know if I’ll ever be as good as he was to you, but…” He places his hands on my hips.

“Don’t think like that Craig! Don’t ever compare yourself to Alex. I love you for who you are right now. I enjoy… you! Just you being yourself!” That’s the last thing I would ever want Craig to do: doubt his self-worth. I bury my face on his chest. “I’m here with you and loving every second of it. Don’t ever change who you are.”

_[And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away]_

I think Craig understood what I said as he rested his chin on my head and tightened his hug on me. We stood there for a few minutes just taking in each other’s presence, thankful that there wasn’t anyone around to see us. We let go of each other and gave each other a smile. I held his hand and kept walking.

Once we’ve had our fill of nostalgia, we left the college and visited the other nearby areas we would go to after classes. We had lunch at a hotspot restaurant and were very satisfied. We visited a park and just sat on a bench talking about whatever came to our minds while people watching. He purchased a few souvenirs for his kids, as did I for the next time Amanda visits. Before we headed back to our apartment, Craig wanted to pick up some ingredients as he would make dinner for both of us.

_[Barefoot in the kitchen_

_Sacred new beginnings_

_That became my religion, listen]_

We got back to our apartment and I immediately had to lie down on the bed. I was tired from walking all day but Craig looked like he was still okay. Craig changed out of the clothes he was wearing to more comfortable attire and I can’t help but stare at his sculpted body… and his butt as well. I blushed and immediately went on my phone to watch cat videos to distract myself.

After dinner, I spent the rest of the evening just looking out the balcony and taking in the scenery. The sun slowly dipped in the background and the street lights had lit up. Craig opened up the sliding door and came over to me.

“Still enjoying the scenery?” Craig smelled like he just came out of a shower as I can smell the shampoo he uses. He wiped his hair with his towel and stood next to me.

“Just a few more minutes ‘dad’ and I’ll take my shower.” I teased him.

“Oh, I’m your dad now huh?” He smirked at me.

“Easy there, cowboy. Don’t get any ideas.” We laughed as I lay my head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad we could get away again, just us two.” Craig wraps an arm over me.

“Same. I’m sure we’ll have plenty more travels in our future. Not sure where but we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I’m gonna plan our next trip. You’ve already planned two trips for me so, I think it’s my turn to spoil you.”

_[I don't wanna lose you, hope it never ends_

_I'd never walk Gold Eagle Street again_

_I don't wanna lose you, yeah]_

“I look forward to it then. But for now, I wanna explore this city with you.” I turn to him and kiss him on the lips. Whatever soap he used, its scent was addicting mixed with the shampoo he used. I just wanted to stay close to him like this. We let go for a breath and he holds my face in his hand.

“I love you… babe.” That was the first time he ever called me babe. One could say I’ve been promoted from his ‘bro’ to his ‘babe’, but I know that we’ll always be bros.

“I love you too babe.”

* * *

_“What’s going on with you Craig?”_

_“I just… leave me alone for a while.”_

_“But… Craig I-”He shuts his front door in my face. I hear him lock it as well. I stand there for a second until I turn around and head back to my house, dejected._

>>>>>>>>>>> 

_“I just… needed time to think-”_

_“Think about what?! *sniff* You didn’t even say goodbye to me before you left for your trip! Am I not important to you anymore?!”_

_“NO! Babe, please just listen-”_

_“Don’t call me babe anymore! I knew I was right to think that you had doubts about us *sniff*.”_

_“No! That’s not-”_

_I hang up my phone._

I think back to the last few days of summer and the exchange I had with Craig. It all started when Craig got busy with work and that he refused to spend time with me. It made me worry that he would go back to bleeding himself dry of overworking, so I sent him text messages and on Dadbook as well saying that he can tell me anything and I’m here to help. But all I would get back is short responses from him such as ‘yeah’ or ‘sure’. I was so concerned about him that I ran up to him one time to talk to him about what’s going on with him. He kept avoiding my questions until he said to leave him alone for a while. I felt so much emotions swirling in me on my way home: sad, concerned, annoyed, doubtful, etc.

_[We were crazy to think_

_Crazy to think that this could work_

_Remember how I said I'd die for you?]_

I did as he said and didn’t interact with him for a few days, specifically four days. It wasn’t until I hanged out with Joseph and he asked me when Craig will be back from London as he wanted to do a ‘Welcome Back’ barbeque party. I didn’t even know Craig had left Maple Bay to go somewhere else and it made me upset deep down. Joseph was just as surprised that Craig didn’t tell me anything. He tried to reassure me that he probably had to get something from London as a surprise for me, which I doubted.

That’s when Craig called me in the evening on the same day. I immediately overreacted at him and… had another crying fit. Thinking about it now, I could have handled that better. If I could, I’d fly to wherever Craig is staying and apologize to him… again. Though he is coming back later tonight, as he said to me on the phone before I broke down on him. Man, I really need to learn how to control my emotions.

_[We were stupid to jump_

_In the ocean separating us_

_Remember how I'd fly to you?]_

Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder…

“You doing alright there, bud?”

It was Mat. I must have zoned out in the Coffee Spoon thinking about what happened between me and Craig.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay.” I sat up straight on my chair.

“You sure? Ever since you ordered that Taylor Swiftea, you haven’t budged from this spot for like… almost an hour now.” He points to my drink, which I have not even taken a sip. I must have been waiting for it to cool down before I zoned out. I take the teacup and have a sip. It was room temperature now but it still smelled very delicate, like strawberry rhubarb pie. It was the perfect amount of sweetness from the honey I asked Mat to add in it. I take another sip of it.

“It’s delicious Mat. Is this strawberry tea?” Even though I drink more coffee, I enjoy tea once in a while.

“Raspberry and pomegranate, actually. Though I have been thinking of making a strawberry flavored tea. I just need another fruit to go with it.” He chuckles.

I gave him a small smile. I look back at the tea and see that it’s a deep red, almost like red wine. Mat then sits in front of me.

“I don’t mean to pry but, what’s on your mind? I’m not the best when it comes to giving advice, but I can lend an ear to a friend in need y’know?”

I was hesitant to tell him that Craig and I are having problems. “Um… it’s just that… Craig and I are going through… some things.” I tried to not be specific as I don’t want Mat to be in an awkward position in hearing my troubles. “We’re just… not communicating as efficiently as we should is all.”

“Mmm.” Mat nods at me. “You’re both going through that ‘phase’ in the relationship stage of boyfriend and girlfriend. Err- well in your case boyfriend and boyfriend.”

“I… guess so. I don’t want you worrying too much about this though. When Craig comes back, I’ll… try to sort things out with him.” I move my bangs to the side and take another sip of tea.

“Well, here’s one advice I can give when you do sit down with him. I’m not sure who started it between you two so I’m gonna speak as if it’s Craig’s fault. No offense to the dude.” Mat takes off his glasses. “Take off the rose colored glasses. And see for yourself if he means what he means.”

Rose colored glasses. I’ve heard that saying in many books and TV shows. I’m not sure if this advice will help; I don’t think Craig is the type to be that kind of person. But… I’ll keep the advice in the back of my mind when we meet up later.

“I don’t know if this advice will help. I just thought I’d need to give you something for your troubles. Plus, it was kind of cool how I took off my glasses while talking about rose colored glasses, right?”

“Heh, yeah it was.” We both laughed.

“But for real, I hope things go for the better between you two.” Mat gave me a smile.

“I hope so too. Thanks Mat.” On cue, a customer comes in ringing the bell on the door.

“Alright, I’ll see you later man.” Mat leaves me to tend to the customer. “Welcome.”

I take a look at my tea again and see there was a small puddle of it left. Before I finished the drink, I noticed that the puddle almost looked more… like a gold color under the lighting with a hint of leftover red color.

Nine o’ clock came around and I saw Craig getting dropped off by his Uber outside my window. I messaged him earlier that I wanted to clear up some things. If he was tired, we can talk about it tomorrow but he didn’t object. He dragged his luggage to my front door and rang the bell. As I opened the door and he walks in, he’s wearing a formal suit. Dress shoes, necktie, coat and all. I can’t lie, he looks good in formal. Well, he looks good in any attire in general.

_[I still do it for you, babe_

_They all warned us about times like this]_

We don’t say anything as he steps in and locks the door. He takes off his shoes and coat and hangs it on my coat rack. We look at each other for a moment and I slowly extend my arms, signaling for a hug. Craig looks away and walks past me as I lower my arms dejectedly. He looked tired, like he did back then when we went camping. His hair was slightly disheveled and there were small dark circles around his eyes.

“Did… you cook something?” Craig said, loosening up his tie.

“I… made a chicken and veggie soup. In case you were hungry…” I wanted to make something for Craig as another apology. I figured a healthy soup would be good for him.

Craig pauses for a moment then sighs. “… I’m not hungry.”

_[They say the road gets hard and you get lost_

_When you're led by blind faith]_

Okay, that’s out the window now. I take a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure. Calm down Sean, think things through.

“Um… let’s talk here. Have a seat.” I gestured to the couch. Craig sits down and I sit across him on the reclining chair.

We didn’t say anything as we sat down. I know I’m the one who invited him over to talk things out but I don’t know where to start. Craig didn’t look at me, he just looked at the coffee table. He’s probably waiting for me to start but… I’m all choked up. I can’t say what I want to say to him.

Seeing him so tired and out of it hurt my heart. If he’d let me, I’d walk over to him and just comfort him. Kiss him, hug him, anything just to show that I’m sorry again for overreacting. C’mon Sean, just say something!

_[I know heaven's a thing_

_I go there when you touch me, honey_

_Hell is when I fight with you]_

“I’m sorry.” I spoke first. “I’m sorry… for overreacting at you… again. You didn’t deserve that from me.” I was looking at the ground. Once again, I was ashamed of how I acted.

“Goddamnit…” I look up at him in surprise. Craig sighed heavily and put his head on his hands. “You don’t have to… you ‘shouldn’t’ have to apologize Sean.” Craig looked at me with a sad expression. “I’m the one… who should be apologizing.”

_[But we can patch it up good_

_Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness]_

Well… he’s not wrong but I shouldn’t say that to him.

“Listen… I’m sorry I pushed you away from me. I… I should have swallowed my pride and tell you why I was… being an asshole to you.” Craig rubs the back of his neck.

I got up, went over to his side, and sat down next to him. I took his hand in mine and rested my head on his shoulder. “Like I said, I’m here for you Craig. You can tell me anything.”

Craig sighed again. “It’s… kind of dumb. I… got jealous whenever I saw you hanging out with the other dads. It didn’t help that I… fell back into the cycle of overworking myself. I kept myself busy to not think about you spending time with the other guys. But… it ended up hurting you.”

I hug his arm. “I promise you’re the only one I want right now. When you got busy again I had more free time to hang out with the other dads, that’s all. We see each other all the time anyway, now that we’re a couple.”

“And you have every right to hang out with other people. I’m sorry I… handled this in a poor way.” Craig turns and held my face. “And… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I left for a business trip.”

_[And you can't talk to me when I'm like this_

_Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you]_

“I’m sorry again that I overreacted at you. I… don’t mean what I say whenever I have a fit. I’m just… scared to lose you. Scared that… we won’t be together anymore.”

Craig takes off my glasses and places them on the coffee table. He leans in and kisses me. We both relax in each other’s arms and just enjoy the moment. I can smell a faint scent of his cologne and it’s intoxicating me. He prods my lips with his tongue, wanting access. I grant him permission and our tongues danced with each other. We let go for a breath, forehead to forehead we stare at each other’s eyes. Is this what they mean by taking off the rose colored glasses? All I see in Craig’s eyes is passion, sincerity, determination, and… love.

I need more of him right now.

_[But we might just get away with it_

_Religion's in your lips_

_Even if it's a false god]_

I plant kisses on his neck. Craig quietly drew in a sharp breath and exhaled. My left hand feeling his toned muscles through his dress shirt. I keep planting kisses on his neck down to his collar bone. Craig runs his hand at the back of my head, letting out soft breaths.

“You wanna… take this upstairs?” Craig whispered in my ear.

“Please…” I kiss him on the lips again. We got up and close the lights of the living room. I hold his hand and lead him up to my room, careful not to trip on the steps in the dark.

Once we entered my room I closed the ceiling lights, only leaving my lamps on and closed the curtains to set the mood. Craig closed the distance between us and he kisses me again, picking me up like I was nothing. I hold on to him while locking our lips together and he places me on the bed. Our tongues danced with each other again, turning our kisses wet and sloppy. Then we would take turns gently biting each other's lower lip, as we didn't want to stop. We had to break again for a breath while Craig takes off his tie and dress shirt. He tosses them to the floor, showing off that perfectly sculpted body of his. With just the lamp as our lighting it casted the perfect amount of light on his body, leaving shadows on his body in the right places.

Goddamn, he was sexy.

Craig hovers over me and starts unbuttoning my pajama top. I toss it off the bed and we continue our make out session. This time, he starts kissing my neck down to my chest. I let out hot breaths at the feeling of his lips touching other parts of me. Not long after, Craig starts sucking on my nipple and I let out a soft moan. I wasn’t as muscular as he is, but all the working out I’ve done with him really slimmed me down and toned out my muscles. Craig’s no stranger to my body; he’s seen me naked back in our college days, by accidents, and when we’re in the gym change room. Though I never thought he would be exploring my body like this right now.

He lets up on my nipple and kisses my lips again. His hips pressed against mine and I can feel his hard on touching mine. We break again and I start unbuckling his belt. Struggling to get it undone, Craig chuckles and takes it off himself then drops it to the floor. Being a bit eager I sit up on the bed and unzip his dress pants, leaving Craig in his underwear.

_[We might just get away with it_

_The altar is your hips_

_Even if it's a false god]_

Craig watches me with bated breath on what I was going to do next. I kneel to the floor and lower his underwear, revealing his cock. I gently stroke it for a bit, making Craig breathe out small breaths. He wasn’t too big and he wasn’t too small, he was just the right size. I hold the base and slowly inserted his cock in my mouth. Craig leaned his head back and inhaled sharply in pleasure. I started out slow, taking in every inch in my mouth. Moving my head back and forth, I was licking the tip of Craig’s manhood as well.

“…fuck…” Craig was enjoying every second of it. “Babe… wait.” Craig held my face and I stopped and look at him. “Sorry… *pant* I just need to sit down. Felt like my knees were about to give in on me.” He sits down on the bed runs his hand through his hair. “Damn… *pant* I didn’t know how good you were at this.”

I smile at him and kiss him on the neck. “Anything for you babe.” Craig smiles back at me and he opens his legs for me. I kneel in front of him again and return to what I was doing.

This time, I start off licking his shaft first up to the head. Craig seems to react more when I play with the tip, so I do just that. I cover the tip with my lips and just suck that part, bobbing my head in gentle motions. Craig let out audible moans as he cups my face in his hand. I look up at him as I suck him and our eyes met. We were both entranced by each other, lust and love mixed and swirled one another in both of our irises. After a few minutes, I go back to deeper and longer motions on his cock. Hearing Craig moan in pleasure was music to my ears, I’m glad I can satisfy him.

My knees started to hurt from the hardwood floor. I stop sucking him for a moment and sit next to Craig. “Sorry, my knees were hurting.”

Craig nods to me and kisses my forehead. He noticed my own bulge in my pajamas and gently rubbed it in his hands. It was my turn to draw in a breath. Was it my turn? Has Craig even done that before?

I look over at Craig and he was intently eyeing my bulge. “Did you… wanna try babe?”

Craig stops rubbing me for a moment and retracts his hand. “Um… well, I’ve never really done it before. I’ve always… you know, done it with… a vagina.” Craig blushes at me.

I giggle at him and kiss his cheek. “I won’t force you to do it if you’re not comfortable. Plus, you’re tired from traveling. I don’t mind just finishing you off tonight.”

He smiles back at me. “You’re the best.” We make out again and I adjust him to the middle of the bed, laying his back on the pillows.

“Relax, babe. I’ll take care of you.” I leave a trail of kisses down from his neck to his abs, Craig moans along the way.

_[We'd still worship this love_

_We'd still worship this love]_

I reached his cock and started sucking him once again. Craig placed his hand on my head, guiding my head to go faster. Gradually picking up speed, Craig tries to not moan too loudly for the neighbors to hear. The faster I went, the deeper his cock touched my throat and I loved it every time. I tilted my head a little bit to get a good position and I was able to deepthroat his cock now.

“Ah shit babe…” I never really hear Craig swear, even back at college but I guess in this special moment, he can be vulgar whenever he wants. He holds my face again, “Hang on babe…” I stop and listen to him. “I wanna take control, I’m gonna cum soon.” Even though I wanted him to relax, I obliged anyway.

Craig shifted slightly and placed both of his hands on my head. He folded one of his leg and started hip thrusting my mouth. “Oh fuck yeah…” Craig must have a bit of energy left to even do this.

“Mmhm…” My lips smacked against his groin as he thrusted faster, not that I didn’t mind. Each time he thrusted deeper I would gag a bit, but I gotta see it through. I can’t back out now. I cup his balls in my hand to hopefully stimulate him to cum faster.

“Fuck *pant* I’m cumming babe…!” Craig moaned in pleasure as strings of hot white fluid was released in my throat, making me gag but I swallow each squirt. Craig held my head down to make sure none of it would spill out. After I swallowed the seventh string, he was done. I was done.

Craig relaxed on to the bed and let go of my head. I grabbed a nearby tissue and wipe my mouth. I grab an extra one and just clean up Craig’s wet semi hard cock. He was breathing heavy, arm over his face. I throw away the used tissues and grab a clean pair of underwear as I made a leak in the ones I’m wearing.

“You okay, Craig?” I massage his chest. He nods back at me as a response. “You want some water?” He nods again. I quickly left my room to go to the kitchen, careful not to trip on something in the dark. I grabbed two water bottles in the fridge and went back up.

“Here you go babe.” Craig had put back his underwear, still semi hard too. I tried to look away from it as it will probably make me horny again. He and I drank our water bottles till it was empty.

“Phew, that was a workout.” Craig cheekily smiled at me. I laugh and shake my head at him. I went to my bathroom to brush my teeth really quickly and rinse with mouthwash. Once I was done, I turn off the lamp lights and went under the covers, as Craig did as well.

_[Still worship this love_

_Even if it's a false god]_

We huddled close together in the fall night, Craig wrapping an arm on me. I buried my face on his chest, hugging his torso with my arm. “I missed you Craig…” I said.

“I missed you too Sean.” He kissed the top of my head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I plant a kiss on his chest, where his heart is.

We weren’t sure what we were going to do tomorrow, but at least tonight we would be safe in one another’s arms. I believed that once again, we would be alright.

_[Even if it's a false god_

_Still worship this love]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all already know I had to make False God the "sexy love making" chapter, for those who have listened to the album. I think this is the longest chapter I have ever written. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will get chapter 8 posted soon. I can't believe I'm almost done this project *crying*


	8. ME!/Paper Rings

**Chapter 8**

_[I promise that you'll never find another like me]_

As the final guests leave Craig’s house, I start cleaning up the decorations I set up for Craig’s birthday party. I had the help of Briar, Hazel, and the other dads set up this party for him. Joseph and Mary couldn’t make it as they both had other plans today, but they both provided presents for Craig in their absence. Joseph got Craig a new tool kit set while Mary had gift wrapped two bags of kale chips and a $100 gift card for Over Armour, which Craig liked more than the tool set.

Amanda was able to show up as well with presents. Amanda got Craig an assortment of shirts in some of the local shops near her college (with the correct sizes from me). I got two presents for Craig: he already opened the first one which was a new gold watch, just to really enhance his formal attire look. His other present will have to wait when all the guests are gone and I have him to myself.

Ashley couldn’t make it either but she messaged me a few weeks earlier that she bought a present for Craig and wants it shipped to my place in secret. I obliged and received the parcel a few days after. Inside it, Craig got new running shoes from Ashley and he was ecstatic about it. With the help of Briar and Hazel, we were able to make a… somehow delicious carrot cake for the party. River mostly watched and offered moral support and enjoyed the icing when I caught her licking the wooden spoon. It was great bonding for me and Craig’s kids.

River was already put to bed a few minutes after the party started to end. Amanda and the twins were cleaning up the garbage lying around from the aftermath while I’m washing the dishes and Craig is helping me dry them.

“Bro, that party was bomb! Thanks for doing that!” Craig said as he wipes a plate dry.

“I couldn’t have done it without your kids so, you should thank them too.” I smiled at him as I scrub down another plate.

“You three make a good team then. You wanna sign up for the softball team?” Craig elbows me lightly.

“Something tells me I’m lacking one qualification to even make it to the little league.” We both laugh.

Suddenly, Amanda and the twins come into the kitchen. “Okay ‘moms’, we’ve taken out the garbage and swept the living room.” Briar and Hazel snicker behind Amanda. “Is there anything else that you would like us to do your bidding?”

“Like have your dresses tailored?” Hazel speaks up.

“Or find glass slippers for you to try on?” Briar chimes in.

“Oh no, Craig I am so sorry my daughter has tainted your daughters.” I shake my head at their remarks.

“Heh, you knew it was bound to happen pops. Anyway, do you mind if I bring over these guys to our house to hang out for a bit? I wanna show them some stuff in my room.”

“I mean as long as you don’t start some kind of weird cult over there, I’m okay with it. Craig? The fate of your children is yours.” I look over at him.

“Hmm… I guess it’ll be okay. I trust Amanda with them. Just don’t let them have any more sweets tonight since you they’ve had two slices of cake.”

“You got it.” Amanda does her finger gun at us then turns to the twins. “Sorry girls, thems the breaks.” Briar and Hazel sent off pouts at Craig. He just shrugs at them and I stifle a laugh. I take off a rubber glove and give Amanda the house keys and they make their way out.

Once Craig and I finish the dishes, we just spent time together on his couch.

“Phew, what a day. Good food, successful workout, and great company.” Craig wraps an arm over me. “Thanks for today babe. You didn’t have to go through the trouble again.” He kisses my forehead.

“It’s your special day! Of course I have to plan something.” I rest my head on his shoulder.

“I mean, I wouldn’t have minded just you, me, and the girls. The other guys are great to have but; you, Amanda, and my girls are the special ones to me.”

“Craig you’re gonna make me cry.” I blush as he rests his head on top of mine. We sit there for a moment in silence, taking in what happened today and just enjoying each other’s presence. “You know, I still can’t believe that… we’re here today, together.”

Craig kisses my head. “What do you mean, babe?”

“I mean, I know I can be a handful and I… never think before I say something when I’m having a fit. Like that time I went psycho on you on the phone. I… would’ve expected you to have left already.”

“Ha! Trust me bro, I’ve dated girls who were even worse than you. Don’t worry about it; I’ve practically learned how to handle outbursts.”

_[I know I tend to make it about me_

_I know you never get just what you see]_

Another question pops to my mind. “That’s… another thing. You’ve dated girls all your life. Now you’re dating me… who isn’t a girl. I’m just wondering like, did I ever do anything extravagant that won you over. You know?”

He looks at me for a moment. “Well… it’s not that you didn’t do anything. You helped me find my piece of mind, that’s for sure.” He scratches his head. “Honestly, I’m not really sure what drew me to you. Not that I don’t like it. I love being with you bro.”

“Mmm.” I just nodded at him. We just sit in silence, but I can still feel Craig staring at me. He takes my face in his hands and gently turns it to him. “Is… there something on my face?”

He didn’t say anything. We just looked at each other’s eyes for a few minutes. I did find it odd on what he’s doing but, I’ve done weirder things on my own time so I can’t really judge him right now. Is he… possibly looking for an answer if he looks at me hard enough?

“I don’t know man…” He said lowly, not breaking eye contact. “I guess… I just missed you…?” He strokes my cheek with his thumb. “When I reunited with you here two years ago, I… felt relieved to see a familiar face.” He gave me a small smile. “Seeing you again that time, you didn’t look much different back then in college, other than you grew a few feet and longer bangs. You still had your baby face.”

I smile back at him. Working out with Craig has made me shed the extra fat on my face. I’ve never looked better without his help.

“I hoped that I could catch a breather from constantly being busy. That’s when you came along… came back into my life, I should say. I thought… if I could hang out with you again, even if it’s just for a small time, I could have a weight lifted off me for a bit.” He lets go of my face.

“It’s kind of like… how I was your summer in your winter?” We both chuckled at how cheesy that sounded.

Craig clicked his teeth. “That’s cheesy broski.” We just laugh for a moment. “But… yeah, the more we hanged out the more I saw how much you’ve grown as well. A caring dad to Amanda and… you were looking out for me. You ‘still’ are.” Craig gave a warm smile to me.

I smiled back at him. I nuzzle closer to him and he holds me for a bit. “That was nice to hear babe. I’m glad to know how you felt all this time.” We sit there in silence once again.

“I guess what they say is true. ‘When you grow older, a lot of things change’. So I guess I’m bisexual now or uh… what’s the other one… pansexual?”

“You don’t have to put a label on yourself. If you love someone then… you just love someone. You love good people, how about that?” I pat his chest.

“I like that. We’ll go with that.” Craig ruffles my hair.

“Oh! I almost forgot that I have another present for you.” I adjusted my hair.

“Really?! No way…” Craig’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Uh, yes way. Hang on, let me get it.” I get up from the couch and went to retrieve the second present. I hid it away in Craig’s storage of protein powder. There’s an abundance of it that he wouldn’t even notice I hid something there. I came back and handed Craig his second present.

“Hmm, it’s rectangular… a box of dark chocolates?” Craig examined the present.

“It’s not edible. Also, don’t shake it too much.”

“Brass knuckles?” Craig raises an eyebrow.

“Uhh… no it’s not wearable.” I giggle at his guesses. “Open it, see for yourself.”

Craig tears away the wrapping paper. “Oh dude! The Pintendo 3DS!” Craig said excitedly.

“Also, I lied…” I reached into my hoodie pocket. “Here’s a third present.” I handed Craig another wrapped gift.

“Damn bro, you went out this time around.” Craig starts tearing the next present.

“Yeah, now I gotta think of something better for Christmas.” I’m hoping my wallet can survive the end of the year.

“Oh nice! The new Animal Crosswalk game!” Craig looked like he was a kid again during Christmas time.

“Well, it’s not new but the latest in the series. Until a new one gets released.”

Craig placed his present on the coffee table. “Babe… thank you.” He closes the distance with a hug.

“You’re never too old to play video games. I’m hoping this will help you to just sit down and relax when you got the time. Remember, it’s okay to be selfish and take care of yourself once in a while. If you got house chores and you’d rather relax, you can ask me to do it and I’d be more than happy to do it for you.” I rub his back.

Crag kisses my lips. “Thank you. I really appreciate this babe.”

“I got the game too, so we can play together sometime.” I smile at him.

I spent the rest of the night watching Craig configure his new 3DS and start messing around in game. When the twins came back home to go to bed, I had to return home to spend time with Amanda. I went to bed that night with a heart full of happiness.

_[And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e]_

* * *

After softball practice today, Craig came to hang out at my place late afternoon to wind down. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, soon to be evening, to sit under my cherry blossom tree with him. I prepared two glasses of wine for both of us as we just sit on the bench and talk about his day, while watching the golden glow of the sun slowly set. Robert came over one day to forcefully give me the bottle of wine. Due to Mary’s drunken stupor, she bought white wine instead of red. She didn’t want it so she gave it to Robert. He’s abstained himself from drinking so he shoved it at me and I was more than happy to take it from him. I haven’t opened it up until now so at least it’s being consumed.

It was just like two years ago; I threw a party for Amanda to celebrate her acceptance to Horne Institute for the Arts. At the end of the party, I sat here with Craig for a while. It was the start of our new relationship from friends to lovers.

_[I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this]_

“How was your softball coaching Craig?” I hand him his glass of wine.

“It was great bro. Other than the usual moms harassing me, it went pretty well.” Craig takes a sip of his wine.

“Oh no, what did they do to you now?” I take a sip of mine it was nice and fruity.

“Ugh, bro. Martha would not let up on me about going to see a movie with her. I even told her plainly that I was seeing someone already, you, but she still wouldn’t budge.”

“How’d you escape her?” I giggled at his expense.

“I saw her daughter Tiffany rummaging through her personal bag and tossing out the items in it. I pointed it out to Martha and she ran to her daughter to stop. I immediately got my girls into the car and drove back here. You don’t understand dude. She was literally in my space, breathing my air, basically suffocating me trying to go to the movies with her.” Craig sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Aww poor baby.” I kissed him once on the cheek for the rough moment he had. Craig still looked a bit down so I gave him a second kiss to let him know that he’ll be alright. Then he gave me a look; the kind of look that said ‘one more for good measure’. I chuckled and kissed him deeply on the lips since I know that he hasn’t seen me all day today. I let go and he was happy again, as I sit next to him. “So where are your girls now?”

“They’re back at my house. They’ll call me if they need something; I’m literally only one house away from them.” He takes another sip of wine.

“Speaking of suffocating, I remember the first time we met during college.” I wrap my arm onto his. “Do you remember? I unlocked the dorm room to see you and a bunch of your friends getting high!” I giggled some more.

“Oh man, we all thought you were the admin when we heard the door being unlocked.” Craig chuckled. “When I realized that you were probably my roommate, I talked to you outside and we introduced ourselves to each other.”

“Were you high at that time?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Nah. Never done it, never will. My friends wanted to try it and they needed a place to blaze, but their dorms had their roommates in them. You weren’t there yet so I had no choice but to host for them.”

“It took all night to get that weed smell out of the room. I was coughing every minute and I was worried that I’d have a pothead for a roommate.”

“I’d say I proved myself for the better after that.” Craig gave me his well-known smile.

We continued to talk about more memories of our college days and the ridiculous antics we both got ourselves in. One time when it was winter, Brian hosted a winter solstice party and Craig jumped in to his freezing outdoor pool. I tried to help him out but he pulled me in as well with him. I immediately dragged both of us out of the pool as we didn’t want to get hypothermia, but we did catch a cold the next day. Joseph, Damien, and Hugo took turns taking care of me while Brian, Robert, and Mat took care of Craig.

We finished our drinks so I took our glasses and rinsed them in the sink. Once I came back outside, Craig was standing and looking at the cherry blossom tree.

“Did you see a squirrel, Craig?” I walk up to him.

“No, I was just wondering when you got this tree.” Craig looked up in marvel of how tall it was.

“I didn’t buy it. That was already there when Amanda and I moved in.” I look at it as well. I always did wonder how they got a cherry blossom tree here in America.

“Well, it’s a nice touch to your backyard for sure.” Craig turns to me.

_[I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings]_

“But… it’s not as gorgeous as the owner of it.” He smiles at me and takes my hand in his.

I blush at him. “Bro, that’s so sweet.” We both chuckled.

“No, but really. I’m glad I have you in my life Sean. You’re always looking out for me and we’ve gone through some ups and downs and made it out alive.” He blushes at me too. “And… I want to keep going through life with you, even through more ups and downs. Because… I know that we’ll be alright in the end.” Craig smiles at me.

My eyes widen in realization at what he said. “D… Do you mean…”

_[Darling, you're the one I want, and_

_Paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams]_

Craig goes down on one knee in front of me. I cover my mouth in shock as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a small box.

“Being with you these past three years has been the best times of my life. And… I wouldn’t trade it away for anything else. I wouldn’t want you for anyone else.” We had our eyes locked in on each other and I can see Craig’s determination. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“I hope that this isn’t too early to do this… but I want to keep you forever. I want to drive away with you, to other places we’ve never been in before. I want your complications too; your outbursts, your flaws and all. I want your dreary Mondays, or days where you feel like everything is weighing you down and I want to be the one to make you feel better. I want to keep making new memories with you.” Craig was getting teary eyed as well.

_[Wrap your arms around me, baby boy]_

“Will you marry me?” Craig opens the tiny box.

Inside the box was a beautiful silver and gold banded ring. The top and bottom edges were gold and the middle had a silver crosshatching design on all around the ring. My tears had already been flowing before he even opened the box.

“Y… Yes…” I said in a shaky voice while nodding.

Craig beamed at me as he stood up and pulled me into a hug.

_[Darling, you’re the one I want, and paper rings…]_

“You have no idea how happy I am bro…” Craig said, with a shaky voice too.

_[And picture frames…]_

“I’m so happy too *sniff*. I love you Craig…” I said with my head planted on his chest.

_[And all my dreams]_

“I love you too Sean…” He kisses the top of my head.

_[Oh, you're the one I want]_

As the sun slowly sets, we stood there for a while under the tree just hugging out the emotions we felt on this special moment. When the stars were out, we stargazed until it was time for Craig to head back to his place.

If this was a dream, then I definitely never want to wake up from this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if this one was short, as I incorporated the lyrics into their speech instead. The final two chapters is coming soon!


	9. Lover

**Chapter 9**

…

…br…

……

…ro…

…………

Bro…

I woke up to me being gently shaken. My eyes fluttered open to see Craig, my husband, lying next to me. He gave me a small smile to see that I woke up.

“Mm… Craig?” I say sleepily.

“Hey… morning hon.” He kisses my face. “Sorry to wake you up…”

“What… happened?”

“Oh, nothing happened. I… was wondering if we can spend some time together, before the kids wake up. Just have a walk around the area.”

Slowly but surely, my body was waking up. “Mmm… what time is it now?”

“6:30 AM. Hope that’s okay with you.” He pulls me closer and kisses me again. “I know you love sleeping but… we’re gonna be busy hanging out as a whole family today again. So… I kind of just want some time together, just us two. Even if it’s for a little bit.”

Oh right, Christmas was yesterday and Amanda came over to visit again for the holidays. She’s sleeping in Craig’s guestroom right now. We spent yesterday and the day before as a whole family just spending time together and opening up presents. As long as Amanda is visiting for the holidays, we gotta make use of that time as family bonding. I nuzzle my face in his chest.

“Mmm, yeah I’m okay with it.”

We got out of bed, showered, and wore some warm clothing. We tipped toed our way out of Craig’s house to not disturb the kids. Normally I’d have brewed a cup of coffee before leaving, or even wake up this early, but Craig said he’ll treat me to breakfast including coffee, which made me fall in love with him even more.

_[We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January_

_This is our place, we make the rules]_

Craig closed the front door lightly and locked it. It was still slightly dark out and everyone else is probably still sleeping. The houses in the cul-de-sac still had their respective Christmas lights up, including mine and Craig’s. With the New Year in six days, it’s better to leave them up just to keep the festive feeling going. At least, that’s what I think why everyone keeps them up.

We made our way down to a little café that served coffee and sandwiches. We stayed there and ate there for a bit.

“Thanks again for treating me to breakfast hon.” I smiled at Craig. I can feel energy in me now that I’ve had coffee and food in me.

“No worries babe. Don’t expect this kind of treatment all the time though.” Craig chuckles.

“But I thought getting married meant I would be spoiled all the time.” I whined sarcastically.

“Sorry to say bro, lots of false advertising for commitment.” Craig takes a bite out of his sandwich.

_[And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear]_

“Oh speaking of false advertising, I remember this one time in college where we went out to drink. You were already drunk by this point by the way, and I ordered my usual mud slide. You looked at it and you were genuinely confused.” I started giggling. “You were looking at it and said ‘Bro, where’s the slide part? Where’s the rest of the playground?’”

Craig laughs. “I mean, the point remains valid to this day.”

“It would have been cool if they did add a slide made of chocolate on the drink.” I finish my remaining coffee.

“Hey bro, think fast!” I quickly look up in time to see Craig flick a marshmallow in the air toward my direction. My instincts kick in and I lock in on the marshmallow. I catch it in my mouth and I raise my fist in victory.

“Yes! You still got it!” Craig and I high five each other.

_[Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?]_

“Where did you get the marshmallow?” I said in between bites.

“I bought a brownie for us to share.” Craig points to a plated brownie next to our food. How did I not see that earlier? I see a little indent on top of the brownie, which I assume is the marshmallow Craig picked off.

“Are you sure you wanna have sugar this early morning hon?”

“I’ll be sure to burn it off at the gym later. And burn off the calories from yesterday’s dinner.”

Craig slices the brownie in half and we shared it. We stayed there a bit longer just talking about different topics until we were ready to go, wherever Craig felt like taking us both.

_[Can I go where you go?_

_Can we always be this close…]_

We held hands as we left the café, down the streets of Maple Bay. A lot of stores were still closed even after Christmas, save for some other stores. Walking down the street with light snowfall really made the area beautiful to me. I wish I had Amanda’s photography skills to really capture this moment, heck; I should have brought a camera with me.

That’s when I remembered that my phone has a camera in it. I took my phone out with my free hand and bring up the camera as best as I can with one hand. Craig watches me with a smile as I take multiple scenic pictures. I turn to him with the camera and he beams at it. I take his picture and we laugh. He takes my phone to take a selfie of both of us, since his arms are longer. Looking back at these when we’re older is going to be so nostalgic.

_[Forever and ever and ah, take me out, and take me home]_

We keep walking until we stumble upon the softball field. Craig’s little league don’t train during winter due to the cold and snow. The seating areas were covered in snow and you can’t see the bases either. Craig leads me in to the field anyway to take in the way it looks. With the snow crunching beneath our boots, we head to the center of the diamond.

“I never visit the field when it’s winter. I’ve never seen it in this state before.” Craig looks around him.

“Not gonna lie, it looks a little depressing since it isn’t used during this season.” I take in the desolate feel of the field.

“Yeah. When spring rolls around though, the grass is green and everything will be back to its lively state.” Craig has a small smile on him, but… I can see a far off look in his eyes.

“You okay babe?” I wrap his arm with mine.

Craig takes a moment before he speaks. “I’m okay. It’s… just that when my girls grow older, I’m gonna miss the feeling of being a coach for my girls.”

“Aw hon, don’t think so far ahead from now. Enjoy the time you have now. They’re still young and who knows, maybe one of them will want to go for the Woman’s Pro Softball League. If that happens, you can coach them to greatness.” I rest my head on his shoulder and hold his hand, trying to comfort him.

_[You're my, my, my, my…]_

“I know… I was just on a nostalgia trip. Thanks hon.” He kisses my forehead. “You remember when I kissed your forehead right here, when I threw a softball a little too hard?” He smiles at me.

“How could I forget? I honestly didn’t expect you to actually kiss my booboo.” We both giggled.

_[Lover]_

When we were done in the softball field, we continue our walking adventure. Our next stop was the park. It was empty and desolate as well. It was only natural since it’s still early morning, and I doubt parents would bring their kids out to the park when it’s snowing.

Craig and I sit down on one of the benches. It was cold but we power through and it warmed up in no time. I take out my phone again and take pictures of the scenic moments. I take a selfie with Craig and right about as I click the button to take the picture, Craig kisses my cheek. I blushed as I wasn’t expecting it and Craig chuckles at my demeanor. The picture was clear and caught the perfect moment. We sit in silence taking in the scenery again until Craig spoke up.

“I guess I should tell you why I wanted to spend some time with you.” Craig rubs the back of his neck. It’s a cute little habit he does when. Makes me wonder if he’s aware that he does it a lot.

“Hmm?” I turn to him.

“Um… I got a business offer from the CEO of Pi-key. He wants to work with me to sell my athleisure wear in all Pi-key stores.”

“Babe, that’s great to hear! I’m so happy for you!”

“Yeah, well, here’s the thing…” Craig was hesitant for a second. “We… got to move to New York if I want this business opportunity.”

“Oh…” Move to New York? With Craig and the kids?

“Yeah… but it doesn’t have to be soon or anything. We have plenty of time to make this decision.” Craig looks at me.

“When do you have to have an answer for the CEO?”

“Well they’re really generous on the deadline. Basically, next year end of November. The CEO wants me to really think this over because they’d love to work with me. I’ll be keeping in touch with them until then. It’d be great for me since my business is small, but I wanna know your input babe.” He takes my hand in his. “I know you only just moved here three years ago and… you’ve made a lot of memories here with me, Amanda, and everyone else. If you don’t want to go to New York, then I’ll stay here with you. I… wanna be wherever you are.”

I look into his eyes and they’re full of love. He cares so much for me that he would turn down this opportunity for him to grow, just to be with me.

“Craig…” I was speechless. I wasn’t sure how to answer.

“S-Sorry… I didn’t mean to dump all that info on you.” He wraps an arm over me. “Again, you don’t have to make a decision now. We got an entire year to make a decision.”

Craig cradled me as we sat in silence for a bit. “Well… what do ‘you’ want to do babe? It’s your business after all.”

He thought for a moment. “I’d take the offer.” He nods to me. “But your answer is just as important as mine.” He smiles to me.

I smile back at him. It’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with Craig, he’s considerate. “I’ll… I’ll think about it babe. Okay?” I kissed him on the lips. “But… if you wanna know how I really feel at the moment, I’m leaning towards ‘yes’ at the moment.” Craig’s eyes widen at my response. “It could change but… honestly I do think this will be a great opportunity for you. I just need some time to mull it over.”

“Yeah, of course hon.” Craig hugged me tighter. We spent a bit more time than usual at the park, just talking about the possibilities and things we needed to prepare if we did go to New York and other subjects. We didn’t get cold as we were right next to each other on the bench.

_[And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you]_

As I’m talking to Craig, I see two ladies jogging passed us and they were looking at us. Possibly only looking at Craig. They’ve been jogging circles around the area since they got here and I can feel their eyes in our direction. Luckily, my hearing is still prominent for being 34 years old and I was able to pick up a bit of their conversations whenever they pass us. One of the ladies was talking about how good looking the ‘guy in the blue winter coat’ is, which is Craig since his coat was blue.

Craig has noticed the ladies jogging passed us every time as well. He thought he’d give them a show so he kissed me in the lips when they approached us. I was caught off guard by the kiss and I heard the two ladies gasp in surprise as well. Realizing this was Craig’s plan; I relax into the kiss and wrap my arms around him. At that point, the two women have already left the area to jog wherever. Craig breaks off the kiss and smirks at me.

“How was that?” Craig chuckles.

“That… was a gold medal performance, for sure.” I smile at him but I was still reeling from the sudden kiss.

_[I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all]_

We leave the park to the next destination wherever our feet would take us. I took pictures as we walked and selfies with Craig when I had the chance. As I scroll through some of my pictures as we walked, I reached some pictures which were from the Christmas dinner. At some point, Amanda must have taken my phone and continued taking pictures with it. Craig laughed as he mentions that I overdosed on eggnog last night and I blush in embarrassment.

It seems our next destination was the bayside docks. It was empty as well but it’s very well kept. The boat crew probably cleans up the snow that’s fallen here. Boats and ships still set sail during this time of the year; sometimes I wonder where they go. The burrito shack where Amanda and I ate to celebrate her acceptance to HIA was closed for the holidays too.

As we sit down in one of the benches, I take out my phone again and take pictures of the scenic atmosphere. It was 8AM now and the sun is hidden in the clouds but it was still bright enough to be able to take pictures. Craig takes a selfie of us again and I kissed him as he was about to take the picture, like he did with me. We laughed at our antics and all of the pictures came out clear.

“Man, I can’t believe it’s only been a couple of months since our wedding.” Craig says. We had our wedding in summer and went on our honeymoon a few days after. It was so surreal and I catch myself replaying the moments every now and again.

“Would you believe me if I told you that I almost fainted while Joseph was saying his speech?” I chuckled.

_[I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover]_

“I could tell bro. Your hands were shaking when we stood there holding hands.”

“Oh my god, I even kept stuttering during my vows. I was a nervous wreck babe.” I put my hands on my face. “I even put in a line from Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers to lighten up the mood, when I promised I wouldn’t. But I did anyway cuz I thought it would be okay.” I groaned in my hands.

_[All's well that ends well to end up with you_

_Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover]_

“Haha, hey no sweat bro. We’re here now and we tied the knot.” He pats my shoulder. “I know you meant every word you said in your vows.”

“I did.” I nuzzle up to Craig. “I just wish it was better.”

“Your vows were great bro. Promise.” He takes my face and kisses it. We smile at each other and we kiss again. This time Craig travels down to my neck and kisses it tenderly.

“Ah… Craig, I’m ticklish.” I said trying to suppress a laugh.

_[And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me]_

“Heh, sorry.” Craig blushes. “Wonder where else you’re ticklish?” Craig smirks at me.

I elbow his arm. “Not now silly.” I turn away and blush. “…Maybe later tonight…” I mumble under my breath.

My phone goes off and I see that Amanda’s calling.

“Hi Manda Panda.”

“Dad, where’d you two go?”

“Sorry Amanda, your dad and I just went on a stroll for a bit. I’m guessing Briar, Hazel, and River are awake now?”

“Yeah they are. But if you two are out, does that mean we won’t hang out altogether today?”

“Hmm… hang on one second.” I turn to Craig. “Do you still wanna go somewhere with the kids? I think all the stores we walked passed are closed.”

Craig thinks for a second. “Nah, we’ll just spend time at home. I’m sure we can think of something to do.”

I nod at him. “Change of plan Panda, we’ll all just spend time at home today. A lot of places aren’t open as we walked by. We’ll just think of something we can all do.”

“Sweet! I didn’t wanna go out today. I’m gonna go make breakfast. We’ll be sure to leave some for you two.”

“Ok then, just don’t send a picture of it Gordon Ramsey. I can’t bear to see you get lashed out by him on social media.”

“Bah! What does he know, pops? I bet I could take him on in a cook off.”

“Well if that did happen, you know I’ll always vote yours to be better.” We laughed. “Alright, your dad and I will be back in a bit. Try not to burn the house down sweetie.”

“No promises pops. I’m kidding, I won’t.” Amanda laughs. “Love ya pops.”

“Love you Amanda, bye.” I hang up. “Well looks like you’re gonna have to really sweat it out at the gym hon. Amanda’s making breakfast for us.”

“Well, treating yourself in the holidays ain’t so bad.” Craig smiles. “Will you eat my leftovers if I can’t finish them?”

_[And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover]_

“You know I’ll always be looking out for you babe.” I gave him a reassuring smile.

As we leave the bayside docks and make our way back home, we decided to take small steps so we can enjoy more time together. People are awake now and driving to unknown places as cars pass us. Every time we pass by a store window and I see our reflection as we pass by, it fills me with happiness knowing he’s here by my side.

_[Oh, you're my, my, my, my…]_

I took more pictures of our surroundings and selfies of us as we kept heading back home. We made silly faces in our selfies and sometimes Craig would photobomb my scenic pictures, which would result in a laugh from me. I didn’t mind it. People who saw us may have thought we were weird, but I didn’t mind. I’m happy being with Craig and he’s happy being with me. It didn’t take long for us to return to the cul-de-sac, even in baby steps.

_[Darling, you're my, my, my, my…]_

We didn’t see any of our neighbors as we returned. They were all probably spending time together to not be bothered about what everyone else is doing. As Craig and I walk up to his front door hand in hand, Craig turns to me.

“Thanks for going out with me, bro.” He smiled at me.

“Hanging out with you is always worth it to me Craig.” I smile back at him.

“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow: we’ll stay in bed a little longer since I woke you up early.”

“That’s sweet of you babe. I’d love that.” I kiss his cheek.

“We’ve got plenty more broventures in our future, I can feel it. Whether it’s a mini adventure or a treacherous one.” Craig takes out his house keys.

“I’ll be with you in every step of the way.” I squeeze his hand.

“Will you do the honors, Sean?” Craig hands me his keys.

“I’d be glad to.” I take them from him and unlock the door.

As I open the door to his house, we were greeted by Briar, Hazel, and Amanda, who was carrying River. We stepped inside, took off our coats, and the girls came up to us with big hugs. Our future together is bright, and Craig and I were going to make sure it stays that way.

_[Lover]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! The end of the story (sort of)!. Originally I was going to have Daylight attached to Lover, but I felt that the album title needed to be separate since this is technically the end of the story. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and felt all lovey dovey throughout this project <3
> 
> And yes, Daylight the epilogue will be out in a few days.


	10. Daylight

**Epilogue**

My eyes fluttered open. Streams of light poured through the blinds on the bedroom window. I looked at the clock and it was 9:45AM. Guess I slept in today; at least its Saturday. I rubbed my eyes and I stretched out my arms and legs to wake them up. I brush aside the bangs in my face, maybe it’s time for a different haircut. As much as I love having side bangs, it might be time for a change.

It has been 8 years since Craig and I moved out of Maple Bay to New York, for Craig to pursue a business deal to enhance his business. There were many tears shed, from me anyway, as we prepared to leave Maple Bay. It was very bittersweet to leave the friends I made: Mat, Hugo, Joseph, Brian, Robert, and even Mary. I hugged them all before we left, though Mary was hesitant at first, and they all waved to us goodbye, even their kids, as we got on the Uber. Craig and I promised that we’ll visit them once in a while.

_[I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you_

_(I can never look away)]_

A small snore caught my attention. I turn my head to the left and see Craig, my husband, sleeping soundly. I smiled to see how relaxed and peaceful he looked. Oh dear, he’s drooling as he sleeps. I tried to sustain my laughter, trying to not wake him up. Honestly, it adds a little charm to the way he sleeps.

I slowly turn my body to face Craig, trying to not cause too much movement so he doesn’t wake up. I took this opportunity to just observe Craig as he sleeps. Sure, it’s weird to watch someone sleep but I’m sure an exception can be made if they are romantically involved. Really depends on the context. Craig was 48 now while I was 47. Looking at Craig’s face, I can see a few wrinkles forming around his smile area but nothing has changed about how I feel about him. No matter how old we get, I’ll always love him. Though that makes me wonder if I have wrinkles forming somewhere on my face.

Even through the years, Craig has kept up with his fitness and he still looks amazing as he did back then when we saw each other at Maple Bay. He was shirtless as he slept which allowed me to really admire how he looked. I’ve also kept up my fitness with him through the years and I was perfectly fine with my slim/toned physique. I don’t get tired easily as I used to and I’m not out of breath easily either. Wow, the years seem to have been a blur but I remember them all vividly.

Amanda had graduated HIA and is now working as a Freelance Photographer with her own business. I couldn’t be any more proud of how accomplished she is. Hazel and Briar both graduated high school a year ago and both went to the same college in Philadelphia. Craig cried tears of joy as did I to see them grow up and pursue their own careers. River is the last child living with us as she is attending middle school.

_[I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you_

_(Things will never be the same)]_

Being with Craig has really brought out the best and worst of me. We’ve had our ups and downs since moving to New York and I don’t doubt there will be more along the way. But we always come back to each other, one way or another and I need him just as he needs me. I can’t bear the thought of losing Craig, through whatever circumstance, and being alone. I silently thanked a higher power for having our paths crossed during college and after as well. All the times we spent together, I wouldn’t trade it for the riches of this world.

_[I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night_

_(Now I'm wide awake)]_

For the longest time I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Growing up gay in a strict family and anti-gay environment really made me a reserved, quiet, and shy person up until college. I didn’t speak too much in fear of letting something slip in regards to my sexual preference. Granted, my parents have accepted me for who I am now which I am grateful. However, there are still homophobic people in this society and there was a time where Craig and I had to fight off a few people at night that assaulted us for our sexual orientation. That wasn’t the first time that happened to me, as it happened when I was with Alex as well.

Craig didn’t go unscathed from the fight but I took more hits for both Craig and I. After our wounds were treated at the hospital, I cried when we were about to sleep in our new house in New York and Craig comforted me. I told him that this was one of my fears of being in a relationship with him; us getting assaulted. I confided to him how I wished I was a girl instead or I was straight instead so he wouldn’t be with me to experience that altercation.

_“You’re my bro, Sean. Always. Whatever you go through, I’ll go through it with you. Shit, I’d take your wounds over mine to keep you safe. You’re the one I love. I’d never abandon you because something like this happened. I’ll protect you with my life. You have no idea how much I care for you bro.”_

That night I haven’t felt that safe feeling in a long time, ever since Alex comforted me. Craig cradled me in his arms until I cried myself to sleep. The next morning I was still cradled in his arms. It was one of the most tranquil sleeps I’ve ever had in my life. When he woke up, I kissed him deeply and thanked him for last night. I told him that I’d do the same for him, which is why I tried to take most of the hits. Craig meant so much to me that I had to step in as much as I could.

_[And now I see daylight (daylight)_

_I only see daylight (daylight)]_

Craig slightly shuffled in his sleep. I was still laughing internally at the drool on his face. I could watch him sleep all day as creepy as that is. Seeing him when I wake up immediately makes my day better. He motivates me to be better every day. Even in my forties, I still have much growing up and learning to do. All the jokes we make always brightens my day when I’m feeling down.

I swipe away some of Craig’s hair that was hanging over his forehead. This caused Craig to shuffle a bit more. Soon enough, his eyes fluttered open.

“Morning hon.” I say lowly.

“Mmm… mornin’ bro.” His eyes were still adjusting to the light. The sunlight peeking through the blinds shone down on our faces in stripe patterns.

“You sleep well?” I smile at him.

“Mmm.” Craig nods at me. He yawns and stretches his arms. I’m not sure if he was subtly flexing for me because damn, his biceps were amazing.

“You were drooling while you were sleeping, by the way.” I pointed to my face where the drool would be on Craig’s face.

Craig gently wipes off the saliva on his cheek with his palm. He felt the wet spot on his pillow and looks at it.

“I told you.” I giggled at him.

He takes his pillow and flips it over, the wet spot now touching the mattress.

“Oh my god, that’s nasty.” I giggled a bit more.

“Eh, I’m sure the bed has had more nasty things touch it.” Craig smirks and winks at me.

I smile and shake my head at him. While he’s not wrong, I don’t think this was the time to make sex jokes unless he’s got a morning wood right now.

“Guess we slept in?” Craig continues.

“Yeah, I don’t remember what happened last night honestly.” I shrug back at him.

_[And I can still see it all (in my mind)]_

Craig extends his arms out, signaling me to move closer to him. I happily oblige and shuffle closer to him. Forehead to forehead we looked at each other’s eyes. I cup his face in my hand and we kiss. We spent a tender moment in silence just staring lovingly into each other’s eyes.

In his eyes, I saw the good times I had with him. A supercut of moments from our college years and our time in Maple Bay. It’s like he’s watching the same memories in my eyes, and I see the reflection of what he’s watching in his. His light brown eyes were always mesmerizing under sun light.

_[All of you, all of me (intertwined)]_

Craig pulls me in closer. He wraps an arm on my waist and he sandwiches my leg with his. I smile as I lower myself to his chest and hug his torso. He rests his chin on my head and envelope ourselves in our warmth. He kisses the top of my head as I kiss his chest.

“Crossing paths with you again is one of the best things that has ever happened in this lifetime.” I said.

“Me too bro. I wouldn’t be here today without you.” Craig rubs his hand on my back.

_[I once believed love would be (black and white)_

_But it's golden (golden)]_

Craig has been my only other serious long term relationship aside from Alex. Being with Craig has taught me so much when it comes to relationships. It’s not just about spending time together and doing things to make each other happy, you learn together and grow together. You communicate with one another to figure out how to solve problems. You learn to adapt with one another’s natures. You reconcile after fights to know that you’re in this for the long run with the other.

_[And I can still see it all (in my head)_

_Back and forth from New York (sneakin' in your bed)]_

I think back to a year ago where Craig had fallen back to his overworking cycle. He knew he needed to rest but it was a busy time for both of us with our own jobs, preparing Briar and Hazel for college, and taking care of River. Once I noticed that he had started working more overtime than usual, I had to convince him again to not tire himself out. It took a few back and forth conversations and a massage from me to get him to relax. I’m no masseur by any means but Craig felt at ease when I did it for him.

Once I was able to convince him to relax, I took care a lot of the house chores and kids while he went to sleep. Making dinner, preparing healthy lunches for the girls, cleaning the house, trying my best to help with the girl’s homework (which I didn’t even understand half of the time), and putting River to bed. My computer technician job didn’t require me to do overtime but there were days where customers just drain the energy out of me and it would make the duties at home a little bit much. But I persevered regardless as I wanted Craig to rest until he got a lot of his energy back.

I would finish the duties around 11PM or so and it made me happy to see Craig sound asleep in our bedroom. I’d sneak into bed and big spoon him, even if I am shorter. He was just as good as a body pillow even with all of his back muscles. He’d try to get closer as I spooned him and I’d bury my face in his back.

_[I once believed love would be (burnin' red)_

_But it's golden]_

“Should we get up now?” Craig spoke up.

“We should… but I just wanna be like this with you the whole day.” I mumble into his chest.

“As much as I would love that bro, River wants to go to the park today and get ice cream.” Craig chuckles and ruffles my hair.

“Mmm nooo, don’t do that.” I whined.

“Oh yeah? What’re you gonna about it?”

I think for a moment and an idea came to mind. I start out with a few kisses on his chest and I lick his nipple and start playing with it in my mouth. Craig exhaled from my sudden action.

“… Oh you fuckin’ bastard…” Craig said quietly.

I snicker as I kiss my way up to his neck, gently planting kisses. It’s something I learned that Craig can’t resist during our ‘intimate moments’. To be fair, it is also my weakness. Craig’s breaths came in staggered as he enjoyed this feeling. I kiss him on his lips now and he grabs my waist to straddle me on top of him. I break off for both of us to catch a breath.

“You sly piece of shit…” Craig smirked as he catches his breath.

“How do you like me now, huh?” I smirked back at him.

“You do ‘not’ want me horny in the morning, bro.”

“Oh now I’m curious.” I drag my finger down the groove in between his pecs.

Just then, someone knocked at our bedroom door that made us turn our heads at it.

“Daaaads? Are you awake?” A sweet little voice came from the other side. It was River, she must be awake now. “I wanna get ice cream! You promised!”

“Give us a few minutes to get dressed sweetie! We’ll meet you downstairs in a bit and have breakfast.” Craig calls out. I slowly get off him and sit on the mattress.

“Okaaay!” We hear her little footsteps run off.

Craig sits up from the bed. “You are so lucky she saved you, bro.” Craig chuckled.

“Eh, I’d say that was more ‘unlucky’ for both of us.” I rest my head on his shoulder.

Craig kisses my face. “We’ll pick this back up later. I’m gonna get you back, this isn’t over.”

“I can hardly wait.” I grinned at Craig.

_[Like daylight_

_It's golden_

_Like daylight]_

After we had breakfast, we cleaned up and got dressed for the day. It’s a beautiful sunny day to go for a walk with the ones I love. River was full of energy and excited to get ice cream. Poor kid is gonna be burned out by the evening though. Craig unlocked and opened the front door, letting in the beautiful spring morning. River ran out first jumping around trying to catch a butterfly. Craig and I shared a laugh.

“Well, shall we get the day going bro?” Craig looks back at me.

_[You gotta step into the daylight and let it go]_

“After you, my dear.” I playfully bow to him with a flourish.

Craig smiled back at me. He extended his hand out to me. “You take me by the heart, if you take me by the hand.”

_[Just let it go]_

“Oh Craigy. You’re so pretty, can’t you understand?” I smiled back at him, fully understanding the reference. Without a worry or doubt in my mind I take his hand in mine and he leads me out of the house, closing the door behind me, and into the freedom of daylight.

_[Let it go]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With that, this project is finished! Thank you so much for reading this project and thank you if you left a kudos on this project! I may or may not add an Author's Note page in a day or so, just to answer clarify/answer some unasked questions (AKA Facts No One Asked For).
> 
> Again, thank you for reading! I'll be creating more fics with Craig since he is my favorite of them all in the game!  
Oh and if you haven't already, give the Lover album a listen as it's the inspiration of this project <3


	11. Author's Note: Facts No One Asked For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is OPTIONAL! Not required to read!  
This is just for those curious on how I processed this project.

Hi readers! Thanks again for taking a chance and reading this project and leaving a kudos on it! I know what you're thinking, me writing this page out is unnecessary as most people are only interested in the story and no one is gonna read this part. But I want to do this as a little extra thanks again for those who have read this.

Without further ado, here's some facts about the project:

1\. Originally this was going to be just a oneshot fic of only the 'Daylight' epilogue. But then I thought that I might as well write something for each track on the album to challenge myself for being away for so long and make some kind of story that falls into one another. Daylight is my favorite track on the album.

2\. I was debating on either Craig or Robert to be the candidate for this project. I ultimately decided Craig because, realistically I don't think Robert would be in to Taylor's music. Though I do plan to write some fics with Robert so be on the lookout for that.

3\. I forgot when I bought Dream Daddy on Steam, but I didn't play it until October of this year. So I played the 'Dadrector's Cut', where they included some new content in the game and I loved the new sidequests you could do on Dadbook. (*This is mostly a fact about me, not the actual project*)

4\. I based my Dadsona on some of my characteristics so yes, in a way I inserted myself in this fic. Please don't judge me, I love Craig and the other dads.

5\. Due to the art style of the game and how the dads are drawn in the game, they don't look that old to me. All of them look like they're somewhere in their late 30s. I like to think Dadsona is 36 (my dadsona, anyway), being the youngest in the dad group. Since there is no official age for the dads in the Dream Daddy Wiki page, I made up the ages for them:

  * Craig - age 37
  * Mat - age 37
  * Brian - age 38
  * Robert - age 40
  * Damien - age 38
  * Hugo - age 39
  * Joseph - age 41

6\. Since the game was released in 2017, that's where I based the setting of 'I Think He Knows', the end of Craig's second date.

7\. Some of you who read the project may have been confused at all the season/month/year jumps from the different tracks. At some point I debated on editing the project just to add the dates on when the moments happened so it's easier to understand, but I'm too lazy to do it (sorry). I still might do it but here's a breakdown of it:

  * Chapters 1 - 3: somewhere from 2009 to 2013
  * I Think He Knows: Year 2017
  * Cruel Summer to Afterglow: Year 2018
  * Gold Eagle Street to ME! - Year 2019
  * Paper Rings and Lover - Year 2020
  * Daylight - Year 2028

8\. 'Cornelia Street' is the actual track name in the Lover album (second favorite in the album). I struggled thinking of a different street name that still fits the flow of the song. I went with Gold Eagle Street just for the symbolism of what the color 'gold' and what 'eagle' symbolizes. It wasn't until I finished writing that chapter that I thought of 'Cordelia Street' as a replacement. I stuck with the former instead just for originality.

9\. Game references:

  * Road Brawler > Street Fighter 
    * Cheng Ling > Chun Li
    * Yega > Vega
  * Hac-man > Pac-man
  * Petris > Tetris
  * Countra > Contra
  * Gubble Gobble > Bubble Bobble
  * Darbie > Barbie
  * Freeze Climbers > Ice Climbers
  * Golden Moon > Golden Sun series
  * Harvest Sun > Harvest Moon series
  * Animal Crosswalk > Animal Crossing

10\. In the Dream Daddy Wiki, it says that Maple Bay is located in Massachusetts. I don't live in the US so I don't know if it snows in Massachusetts, so that might be a flaw in the project. However, I will stick to the classic **"This Is My Fanfiction, I Can Do Whatever I Want With It"** reason.

11\. It bothered me a bit that Craig still calls you 'bro' even when you're in a relationship with him now in his route. Not 'babe' or anything related. So I thought I'd kind of make that as **"When He's Comfortable Enough In The Relationship, He'll Call You Something Else Than 'Bro'"** in Gold Eagle Street.

12\. Not gonna lie; when I was writing out London Boy/I Forgot That You Existed for Chapter 3, I kind of regretted doing the entire track list as I just wanted to get to writing out Daylight. But I stuck it out to the end.

13\. I decided to pair up the songs instead of posting them individually, as I wasn't sure what chapters were going to be short. Plus I didn't want to spend a few more months on this project when I already have thought of other ideas for different oneshot fics.

14\. I'll be using Sean as my Dadsona for the rest of my Dream Daddy fanfics. So if the "reserved, laid back, shy, awkward, gaming" kind of dad isn't your cup of tea, then I'm sorry in advance. It's quite the hassle to think of different Dadsonas for all the different dads to ban-err... fall in love with.

15\. Unrelated: Yes I have seen Markiplier's playthrough of Dream Daddy and his crush for Craig. In my opinion, one of his best series.

16\. Craig looks half Korean and half American to me so I went with that as his ethnicity.

17\. I'm not the best at drawing so I can't really draw out my Dadsona. I don't have a drawing tablet either. I tried to describe him as best as I could in 'You Need To Calm Down' so you readers can have a visual of what they look like.

18\. Taylor Swift references (for the Swifties):

  * Tom Hiddleston as celeb crush in London Boy > Taylor dated him 
    * Craig trying to do a British accent > It's what you hear first thing if you listen to London Boy
  * Describing the tea with a 'delicate' smell in False God > Delicate is a track name from her reputation album 
    * Describing the tea as deep red > small reference to her Red album

I think that's all the references I put indicating to Taylor's life/passed work. If you see any more, feel free to point them out. Please don't attack me in regards to her dating life, she can date whoever she wants. I'm a Swiftie as well and I'm happy that she found Joe that loves her.

19\. I didn't have a proper name for the college Craig and Dadsona went to (I don't think they ever mentioned it) so I tried to be vague by just calling it "the college". I also chose Seattle as the location of the college just so they have some travel time together.

20\. The 'explicit' content in False God is not an accurate representation on how I feel about Craig. Totally not. Nope.

I think that's about it. If I remember anything else, I'll edit this chapter. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment on this chapter! Thank you again for reading this project!


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